five laws of narcissistic supply and howto prevail.
written by Ven Baxter for KimSaeed.
Narrated by Conor Mills.
what is a narcissist? first here's my own definition: narcissist (noun) a person whodeceives others in order to take deplete and consume their life energy becausethe narcissist lacks it.
next let's break this down and look at the five laws ofnarcissistic supply.
one the narcissist lacks life energy is well known in thenarcissistic abuse recovery community that a narcissist requires continualnarcissistic supply from other people this energy comes in visible forms suchas time attention effort and sacrifice in other words a narcissist is dependentupon other people for a form of energy that they have and can give but thenarcissist lacks.
thus the narcissist needs one or morehuman targets as sources of supply.
without this energetic supply thenarcissist experiences such emotions as boredom irritability panic and rage.
these resemble withdrawal symptoms so it seems that narcissism can be compared to a dependency on energy received from other people.
what isenergy? it isn't electricity it isn't food ornutrition it isn't sunlight or microwaves orgravitation.
narcissistic supply is another form of energy; one which can beexchanged between people and used in the process of human living.
it can also beused up hence the narcissists continual demands for it simply put it's lifeenergy.
2 – life energy is soul.
non- narcissists don't require this energyfrom others because we produce it within ourselves and use it for ourselves sortof like having rechargeable batteries.
we this life energy to live and thrive ashuman beings.
we also use the excess of itbeyond what we need for ourselves as a sort of fuel to sustain ourrelationships.
if we run low on life energy, we must replenish it by resting orrecharging in some way.
this is called taking care of you.
we all need life energy just as we need food and also like foodwe don't have an unlimited supply of it.
just ask anyone who has raised children.
if we don't have enough of this energy to give our relationships suffer when wecontinually give life energy to a narcissist who continually demands itthe giving of it drains us our supply becomes the narcissist's supplyeventually our relationships and even our health can fail because our lifeenergy our vitality is drained this is how narcissistic abuse weakens thetarget invisibly from the inside out what is this life energy that is notelectricity or food, can take the form of time attention effort or sex, can bedepleted in the process of sustaining human life health and relationships andcan be shared or exchanged with others? basically it's emotional energy.
emotionor feeling is a function of the heart not the physical muscle but thenon-physical inner feeling part of the human beingpsyche.
the heart on a deeper level is connected to the soul many people whohave been targets of narcissistic abuse describe the experience as soul-crushingor soul destroying.
some have said that the narcissist has no soul this isbecause of the narcissist's continual demands for emotional energy from othersdepleting their life energy their vitality their soul as if the narcissistlacks his or her own soul.
on the other hand recharging our life energy ouremotions our heart our vitality makes us feel good and strong on the inside itgood for the soul narcissistic abuse is an assault on the heart and soul of atarget ultimately it's an inner struggle between the target and the narcissistwhich is why other people do not recognize or understand it 3 anarcissist takes depletes and consumes other people's life energy soul let'slook at narcissistic abuse from the other side from the point of view of thenarcissists target of abuse his or her source of supply in normal or healthyhuman relationships people give of themselves to each other with some formof mutual understanding or reciprocity what we give can be in the form of timeeffort or physical intimacy and we tend to receive these forms of energy fromothers in return in other words normal or psychologically healthy peoplerespect each other and reciprocate when we freely give other people our energyand expect no gift in return we call this love love is how we share our lifeenergy with our children it's also how a grown up narcissist expects and demandsto receive it from others a narcissist wants to receive other people's lifeenergy freely without having to give anything in return but the neverendingnarcissistic demand for supply is not love it's the opposite of love lovegives freely narcissism demands for free however unbeknownst to the target who iswilling to give freely to the narcissist there will be no end to the giving northe demands for it children will eventually grow out oftheir normal needy developmental stage and stop demanding supply becomingadults who can produce their own supply adult narcissists will not because theyare apparently stuck in the narcissistic stage of childhood growth forever anarcissist does not and cannot respect his or her target because the narcissistis not psychologically healthy for whatever reason the narcissist doesn'thave enough life energy to give to others or the ability to produce oreven sustain it but the narcissist can be quite good at faking it indeedpretending maybe the narcissists only strategy forsurvival for the narcissist deceives others ideally a person has enough lifeenergy to fulfill his or her own needs and share some with others in respectfulloving relationships think of this as a cup being filled to overflowing andspilling over to others a narcissist lacking this life energy in his or herown cup seeks it from others but having none to give in return the narcissistlike a child can only take it but the narcissists cup never seems to stayfilled and always demands more more endlessly more no amount of giving to anarcissist ever seems to be enough a human beings life energy is notunlimited most people do not wish to endlessly pour their own life energyinto another person's cup on demand and deplete their own until and beyond thepoint of self-harm psychologically healthy people may be willing tosacrifice their soul for love but they don't wish to sacrifice it for nothinghowever since this is exactly what a narcissist requires he or she musttherefore deceive other people into giving their life energy freely to thenarcissist deception is the narcissists primary and easiest way to get his orher fix of supply the ways in which this plays out in a close relationship is alltoo familiar to the target of narcissistic abuse the narcissist liesthe narcissist cheats the narcissist makes future promises the narcissistswears to God on the children's lives on his or her own life the narcissistbetrays the narcissist leaves and then comes back no one likes to be lied towhen the target has had given enough and the fix of supply is threatened thenarcissist lashes out at the target the narcissist belittles the narcissistblames the narcissist retton's the narcissist attacks goesover the throat desecrates the soul the narcissist abuses why simple the targetof abuse is the source of supply abuse is how the narcissist keeps supplyflowing this doesn't make sense though how does it work for a young child whodemands attention supply or emotional energy from the parent even negativeattention is better than none at all likewise a narcissist thrives on otherpeople's emotional responses to the narcissist whether positive or negativesometimes this requires that the narcissist provoke a negative emotionalresponse if this is successful the narcissist gets supply and the targetstays in the relationship the narcissist gets supply the narcissist has one thenarcissist gets supply and is assured that the supply will continue and sodeception leads to quite the powerful source of supply if the narcissist haschosen well and the target proves his or her own willingness to stay with thenarcissist by enduring the narcissists disrespect lies and abuse which transferthe targets vitality to the narcissist as merely a temporary fix of supply andruins the targets relationships and health and perhaps even damages his orher soul also that the narcissist can continue to be a narcissist 5 thenarcissist is a person the narcissist is a person maybe a narcissist is a brokenperson maybe a narcissist is a hurt child forever trapped in an adult's bodymaybe a narcissist is an extremely spoiled and abusive grown-up maybe anarcissist is an unfortunate soul possessed by a demon maybe a narcissistis a human being who has no soul maybe a narcissist is a real life vampire whofeeds on other people's life energy instead of blood or a human robot or analien pretending to be a human in a snatched human bodyfor the purpose of dealing with a narcissist it doesn't matter who or whatthe narcissist is or how he or she got that way whatever we may think and feelabout the narcissist in our lives under every law of human society narcissistsare people and we must treat and regard them as peoplethis attitude towards them is absolutely necessary for the protection of both usand our children however it does not mean that we must pretend to ourselvesthat the narcissist behaves or thinks like the rest of us after enduring thetorture of narcissistic abuse it can be easy to see the narcissist as a nonperson an evil self-serving all-consuming slippery sneaky lyingsadistic shell of a creature that only looks like a human being but has no realperson inside this perception may be true nevertheless we must remember thatnarcissists have the same rights under the law that we do as human beings asadults and as parents we may be all too familiar with his or her ability to makeup lies and believe them wholeheartedly with a convincing emotional display butin a court of law the narcissists word is as good as ourstherefore we must remember and be able to back up our words with facts we mustbe able and prepared to have documentation and witnesses whenever weknow we're dealing with a narcissist especially when we have children withone we may not like it and we may not even know it but to a narcissist we arethe enemy not only the enemy but also food a potential source of energeticsupply a narcissist is a predator like a lion or a crocodile not someone to healor help or be more patient with or give the benefit of a doubt.
doing so onlygives them another chance to consume you.
what does this mean for the rest of usnever forget that in the eyes of everyone else you are dealing with aperson as decent and rational as yourself based on appearances when youare dealing with a narcissist therefore your best bet is to just stopdealing with the narcissist as much as you possibly can right now you cannotwin a battle for your soul when the battle itself destroys your soul sofight as little as possible get get as far away as you can and stay there thisis the only way to win once you are away from the narcissist your life energy canbegin to recharge your your vitality can start to return your Cup can start tofill again and your soul can begin to heal only then can you be any good toanyone else because only then will you have enough energy to take care ofyourself and share with those who both need and deserve it fighting with anarcissist will only empower the narcissist and weaken you and people youcare about too if you continue to fight with a narcissist you will not be ableto help others or even yourself how to get started on the stages ofbreaking free from narcissistic abuse join the free beginner's healing roadmapand email mini-course and learn one is your relationship emotionally dangerousto the biggest myth about healing from narcissistic abuse 3how do narcissists instinctively unerringly know how to hurt others andso much more just click the link in the description box below to claim your freeroadmap.