What's up, Greg, welcome back to my channel I hope you're all having a great day.
This is another episode of -Bad Ads- Or.
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Badads It's Badads! I've talked about bad Instagram ads, specifically for mobile games a couple times before, in videos and I never really expected it to become a series but, they just keep getting weirder, and weirder.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And people keep sending me them, and obviously I saved them coz they're so weird and now I've got enough to make another video so.
.
uh, here it is.
I swear whatever company or like marketing agency makes these.
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Ads on Instagram, like watches my videos and they're making them progressively more and more weird.
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so that I make videos about them.
And guess what? It's working coz I- Here I am.
Making a video about em.
They just keep getting weirder and weirder like they're evolving.
Okay, this has got to be one of the weirdest ones I've seen.
It's a little game, it looks like you just go around and eat people's paint and make your pile of paint bigger.
Pretty normal looking game, and the caption for it is: “Only 1844 kids will get this.
” Uh there's two possible ways that this could be interpreted, and I'm not really sure which one they meant.
But both of them make zero sense.
The first interpretation is only 1'844 (One thousand eighthundred fourtyfour) kids will get this, as in like, only this very specific number of kids will understand what this game's all about.
And if that's what it means.
.
then.
.
.
why would that be true? Why would only 1'844 (One thousand eighthundred fourtyfour) kids understand this game? It looks pretty simple to me, and how could they possibly claim to be able to guess how many kids would get it? It's so specific.
And then the other interpretation obviously is only 1844 kids will get this, as in like only kids.
.
.
from the 1840s.
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will understand this game, which definitely isn't true.
It's like one of those 90s kids memes, like only 90s kids will get this game.
But instead it's targeted towards kids from the 1840s who don't have any concept of what.
.
.
mobile games are.
They don't even know what phones are.
I feel like of the two interpretations this is the one they probably meant, but I can't even begin to understand why in god's name they would do this.
Kids in 1844 would be utterly confused by this game.
If you went back to 1844 and showed this to a child they would think that you were a witch.
and.
.
.
.
and they would run away.
Maybe the people who developed this game are witches.
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and IOS developers? Only kids from 1844 will understand that we ARE witches.
and we develop mobile games.
I don't know, that just seems like a bit of a stretch.
I just don't think kids from 1844 would want anything to do with this game.
.
.
Not to mention the fact that they're all dead.
So even if only kids from 1844 did get this game.
.
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congratulations, you've designed a game for dead people.
.
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and dead people can't play mobile games.
What a horrible business strategy that would be.
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to design a game thats target demographic or I guess only demographic is people who have been dead for well over 60 years.
Do you see what I mean when I say these have gotten weirder? I guess the formula of “if you do this then you're legally this” has gotten too predictable, and now they've got to switch it up even more.
Make you question your whole existence even more by trying to tell you that kids from the 1840s will enjoy this mobile game more than you.
Maybe it's like reverse psychology.
It's like–oh, you don't want to download this game you won't get it.
Only kids from the 1840s will get this game and you were born in the 1990s.
You've got no chance of getting this game.
*Morse code beeps* (I dont know what it says sorry) Oh! I think I just understood what it is! I just turned on the sound of this ad.
I didn't realize it had sound and it's playing something in Morse code *Morse code beeps* What the fuck? Okay, if anybody understands Morse code, please tell me what this means.
*Beepbeepboopboopityboop* *Angery danny* If there's any kids out there from the 1840s please help me decipher what this means so I can make sense of this ad.
I can't believe they put Morse code in the ad- How would that make anybody want to download this game? REAL MEN DON'T GET WET! Okay, this is another one of the weirdest ones I've seen.
So, up here you've just got a screenshot of the game.
It looks like a brain teasers game.
It's it's trying to test your mental skills.
It's just a bunch of wine glasses, and it says whose glass will fill first? the weird part about this one is the caption of the actual Instagram picture Which is, “The only app on Selena Gomez's phone!” What? This is the only app.
.
.
on Selena Gomez's phone? She doesn't have like.
.
the texting app or the phone app.
The only app on Selena Gomez's phone is this.
.
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Brainteasers app.
I've always wondered how Selena Gomez stayed so sharp.
I mean, she's smart.
It is weird though.
You'd think if she was so obsessed with this game to the point where she deleted every other app off her phone, she would talk about this game in like all of her interviews or something.
But maybe she wants to keep it a secret.
The most relaxing game ever.
What, I'm confused.
Is this a- a game for a phone? Why is she using a paintbrush for an iPhone game? Would that even work on a phone? (No) I doubt it.
Looking at the page for this game on the App Store doesn't answer any of my questions.
It looks like a completely different game.
It's just like a coloring book game but it doesn't have any of like the sequins or rainbow effects that are in this ad.
And it doesn't mention anything about a paintbrush.
This must be like illegal right? To advertise a game like this.
She's not even playing it on a phone.
She's playing it with a paintbrush on a piece of paper.
In this game, it looks like you've got this romantic.
.
interest, This love interest, and she goes from just being your classmate at level one, to being your girlfriend in level five, to being your wife in level twenty.
I can't believe she goes from just your classmate to being your pregnant girlfriend to being your wife over the course of however many years she matures and nevertheless, she's still at elementary school, judging by the fact that she's wearing the same schoolgirl outfit.
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in every picture.
I guess some things never change like our undying love for each other and the fact that you never graduated fifth grade.
Best ACG game.
I don't know what an ACG game is.
Cute girls! EXQUISITE graphic! Just one exquisite graphic.
I wonder which one it is.
I guess most of the graphics in the game are pretty good.
But this one is just- *mwah!* exquisite! Vivid, interactive experience time to play.
All right, you're done reading the ad now it's time to download the game I saw the exact same ad again somewhere else.
But this time, the girls blonde and the caption for this one just says over 200 cute girls.
Come on in dude.
There's no there's over 200 cute girls in here waiting for you.
I don't know why, but the number 200 doesn't sound that impressive to me.
Especially if they're all just the same girl with different colored hair like these two because then I don't even have to download the game to know what they're gonna look like.
They're all just gonna look like this girl but with different colored hair.
This is an ad for a game called Helix Waltz.
It looks like a romance game where you've got a bunch of different guys hitting on you and you have options for what to do when they start flirting with you.
Except the options are the same every time.
“You're the apples of my eyes.
.
” Slap his face, or kiss him? “You're guilty of your beauty.
” Slap his face or kiss him? “You're the special one.
” Do you want to slap his face, or kiss him? “Stay with me tonight?” And for this one, you can either slap his face or kiss him.
“You're the special one.
” Ooh.
Oh, so you're the special one? I've been looking for the special one and it turns out it's you.
What a vague.
.
Yet.
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Charming thing to say to somebody.
Imagine being approached by this dude at like the club.
*He walks up to you with his long orange hair floating in the wind.
* *He comes right up to you it grabs you by the arm and says, * *Stares into your soul* “You're the special one.
” I mean, what would you do? Would you slap him in the face, or kiss him? Okay.
This one looks interesting.
It's for an app called Matchington Mansion.
Let's check it out.
*Weird ass bear atacc other bear* ( ఠ ͟ʖ ఠ) What? *More slaps on other bear's ass* What the fuck? ( ಥ ʖ̯ ಥ) What is this?! What's going on?! I can barely even look at the game because of what's happening next to it! This isn't part of the game.
It's just this.
.
.
sobbing bear *other bear is shaking and crying rn while evil bear laughs* getting spanked by another bear who's leaving bright red handprints on this crying bear's ass.
And the spanking bear is just like staring at me, deep into my soul like he knows what's going on in my head.
He's like you have no fucking clue what's going on, do you? Evil Bear: You like this? you like me spanking this little bears ass? Danny: Please stop! Evil Bear: How about you download the game bitch? Danny: I don't want to, I don't want to! Evil bear: Download the game or I'm gonna keep spanking this crying bear.
Other bear: Please just do what he says! Danny: Please no more! Evil bear: You confused pathetic little bitch.
Danny: Why are you doing this? Evil bear: Download the game! Download it! NOW! Danny: Okay I'll do it, I'll do it! Oh, a video ad.
That's new.
This is for a game called “Coin Master Official.
” Scottish lady: Did you just attack my village? Smug guy: No, it wasn't me.
I swear, I swear it wasn't me.
*Destroys scottish ladies' village* Oh I get it cause.
.
.
he did attack her village.
Smug guy: Alright it was me.
I did it.
Scottish lady: You are gonna pay for this.
Smug guy: Nonono not the teddy bear! NO! *real laugh* Download Coin Master and attack Smug guy's village.
Wow, that didn't make me want to play this game at all.
I mean for one It didn't really tell me what you do in this game or what it's about at all.
But also, it kind of makes me feel like I'm gonna go to jail if I play this game.
Like if I attack the wrong persons village, I'm gonna end up in an interrogation room.
That doesn't make me want to play this game.
Coin Master, attack your enemies, steal their coins, and go to jail.
I think recently the game that I've been sent the most ads for is Episode.
I've been seeing these ads everywhere.
I've been getting ads for them and people have been sending me ads for it like crazy.
If you don't know what it is it's basically like a storytelling app where you go through these little stories that are almost like graphic novels except you get choices for what you want to do at each point in the story so you can decide what to say at certain times and what to do at certain times.
I've actually considered making a video about this game because users can submit stories to this game and like make their own little stories that you play through and some of them are super fucking weird.
So a small side note; if you know of any weird episode stories, please send them to me, but for now let's just take a look at the ads because they're equally strange.
“I GOTTA PEE!” Oh boy a classic scenario.
Looks like this guy's got a pee but his wife has just knocked the fuck out on the toilet.
Whatever happened here just really wore her out and she just had to call it right then and there.
This is a situation we've all faced at some point.
You have to go to the bathroom.
You only have one bathroom and your wife is just unconscious on the toilet.
So what do you do? Well, let's check out the two options that this person is considering and let's see if it lines up with what us normal people would do.
.
.
“Pee in her mouth”.
.
(Y'know even peeing on the floor would be better than that.
not to mention he could just pee in the sink.
) umm.
No, I don't know if that is the first thing that I would consider.
Come to think of it, I think that's actually probably the last thing I would think of in this situation would be to pee in my unconscious wife's mouth.
I think I'll be the first thing I would think to do would be to try to wake her up, you know so she would move, and then I would get to use the toilet or maybe use a different bathroom.
I'm a guy so I can pee outside.
I could pee in my own mouth or maybe call 911.
.
.
because she might be dead.
People don't just fall asleep on the toilet that often but people die on the toilet a lot.
Okay.
Well not.
.
.
not like a lot.
That makes it sound like going to the bathroom is really dangerous because you never you never know when you're just gonna die, but it does happen.
People do die on the toilet.
But he still got one more option.
So maybe after he came up with that first one got that out of his system, he'll come up with something more reasonable.
That'll make it so he can go to the bathroom, you know as soon as possible.
*Looks at ad* “Divorce.
” Oh.
bruh So no.
How would that even solve this problem? You know the problem of him having to pee really bad and his wife being on the toilet.
I don't know how long this dude thinks divorces take, but I don't think that's the most effective approach here.
I think he's going to be having to hold this pee for a very long time if this is the option he chooses.
Overall I feel like both of these options don't really make sense.
I feel like you should be able to do both of them pee in her mouth and then get a divorce.
It's a win-win.
Oh cool.
It's the exact same ad again, but with different options this time.
“I gotta PEE!!!” Well, the first option is different instead of peeing in his mouth, he's gonna find a cup which I guess makes a little bit more sense, but the second option is still divorce.
So if we've learned anything from these ads it's that if your spouse falls asleep on the toilet you always want to at least consider divorce.
That's grounds for divorce.
I think um Infidelity and it's falling asleep on the toilet are the two big ones that most states recognize.
There's always probably gonna be other options like peeing in their mouths or peeing in a cup, but those are just temporary solutions to a permanent problem, the permanent problem being your spouse is asleep on the toilet.
you know peeing in their mouths not gonna get them off the toilet, but you know, what will? A divorce! Mmhm.
“Choose how your story ends on the number 1 interactive storytelling app, winner of Google play's 2018 best community building game.
” “Why is he eating my face?” So it looks like this girl's making out with this guy and he just starts chomping on her chin.
What would you do? Would you either go with the flow or would you is this real-life? What does that mean? You can choose to is this real life? Say it out loud while he's sucking on your chin.
Just what is this real life? Yeah.
Oh.
Can you stop? Yeah.
.
.
The last one I want to talk about is another ad for the game, Game of Sultans, which you might remember I talked about in my last video about Instagram mobile game ads.
The ads looked very fucked up.
They were all just pictures but this one is a video.
So let's take a look.
“Ah, I finally found you.
But what have you been doing? I've been busy, Sultan, painting my one true love.
” Wow.
It's so realistic.
It's almost like they're saying the words that they recorded.
.
.
but they're not.
“I wonder who that is.
” *laughs* *rewind sound* Uh oh.
It looks like the Sultan's in another one of his sticky situations.
Looks like his queen is in love with a woman, but don't worry the Sultan's got a pretty quick fix for this one.
Boom problem solved you're not in love with a woman anymore.
You're straight now.
And you love me.
Who wrote this? “You're in big trouble Sultan.
” “Download game of Sultan's on the App Store now.
” You're in big trouble Sultan trying to turn me straight.
Not gonna happen buddy.
You know the weird thing about all those game of Sultan ads is that I've looked at what the game is cuz I thought about playing it for a video and it's just like a regular army building like fighting game just like you build up armies and fight other castles.
It's like it has nothing to do with the ads.
I think a lot of the games that are advertised on Instagram are like that and I have no idea how that's legal.
I feel like it shouldn't be.
Alright guys well that's enough Instagram ads for today because now it's time for an ad of our own because this video is sponsored by ExpressVPN.
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A couple weeks ago, in the case of the lamp in particular, they only blocked my video in the US and Canada.
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like Blue's Clues and I just say what's up to myself in there.
Bye! This video is over now Go find something else to watch*or just watch this video again* I know we had a lot of fun *Yeah!* *a lotta fun* But you can't stay on this end screen forever *No* This video is over now, *yeah!* *over now* So why are you still watching this? (And why did you turn on subtitles, did you expect something interesting?).
