-Hey, everybody.
I don't need to tell you it's the final seasonof “Game of Thrones, ” a show I love.
And the person I love watchingit with most is right here.
That's Leslie Jones, everybody.
-Yeah! -And you know what that means.
It's time once againfor “Game of Jones.
” -We got ribs! [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Ooh, is it a differenttitle sequence? -Exactly.
You noticed.
You've kept up with it.
-Well, well, well.
-They had to putthe new lands in there.
-The new lands.
You know what, I appreciate this.
Because let's be honest –they didn't have to changethe opening credits.
We would have watched it anyway.
-They did have to change it, because they knew thatI was gonna get that ass.
-What ass? [ Laughter ] I'm already confused.
-Whatever ass that's not doing what they'resupposed to be doing.
-“Game of Thrones” is confusingenough without you immediately saying you gotta get that ass.
-I'm gonna get that ass.
They know whatI'm talking about.
[ Laughs ] I never thoughtI'd be this nerdy.
-Before “Game of Thrones, ” did you have any of this nerdin you? Is this the first nerdy thingyou've liked? -Uhh, had a thing for”Happy Gilmore” for a while.
-Okay.
-Is that nerdy? -Not the same as this.
[ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Aaah!-Ohh! [ Laughter ] -Love her! And she looksstronger than ever.
-Can you give mea little Arya face? Give me that Arya face.
[ Laughter ] -So pretty.
They're cold.
They're cold, Seth.
-Yeah.
-Look at all them soldiers.
-Where they coming –Oh, I — Oh.
There it —None of them got penises.
-Oh, right, right, right.
-None of them got penises.
That's why they marchingso good in the cold.
Look at that!-Look at this.
Yeah.
-Look at that!-That's good.
-Oh, that is your nephew! -Hey, will you –That is your auntie! -Will you explain it to me onemore time? How are they related? -Okay.
Jesus wept on the cross.
Listen, his mama and daddyis Robb Stark's sister.
.
.
and Daenerys' uncle, I believe, or something to that effect.
'Cause they cousins.
-Okay.
-No, they're not cousins.
They auntie and nephew.
-Gotcha.
-So how that — -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-How that happen? Look how they lookin'at him, though.
Look how they lookin' at him.
Like, “Yeah, yeah, y'all don't belong here.
” We're here for you! Yeah.
Look at my dragon like that! Look at my dragon like that!But my dragon's here, though.
My dragon ain't no outsider!You know why? 'Cause he's a dragon! Argh! Look at Arya.
Look at Arya.
Arya want to rideone of them [bleep].
Oh, I'm sorry.
-Leslie, I mean this.
There's no one I'd ratherhave a dragon than you, and I also would nottrust you with one.
-You better nevertrust me with a dragon.
It shoot fire and fly?-Yeah.
-That means I'm gonna dodrive-bys every weekend, son.
Argh! “Why Anthony didn'ttext me back? Argh!” -You're a man.
-Almost.
-What? Now what that mean?What that mean? And Sansa say, “Yeah, he weird, but that's all right, though.
” -That right there is like thatthing where one of your family members comes to “SNL”and you're like, “How did you like the show?” And they're like, “It was all right.
” -[ Laughs ] -We don't have timefor all this.
The Night King has your dragon.
-Bran, you not — That's not how you introduceyourself to people.
You say, “Hey, my name is bran.
” Look at these dirty [bleep].
I bet you it stank like –Ooh, I bet you it Stank like hot hell [bleep]up in there.
-Now, Leslie, I have heard from some people that this episodeis a little boring.
-What?! Blasphemy.
Blasphemy.
Anybody said that, you startunfollowing me right now, 'cause you obviouslydon't watch “GoT.
” And you don't knowthis is a transition episode.
Look at my girl.
My girl.
Like, look at my girl.
Look.
She about to pop somebodyin they face.
What you mean boring?Have you levitated? -What does levitated mean?-What? You haven't levitated?Yo, cut the cameras.
Cut this.
Cut the cameras.
You ain't levitated.
You must be out your damn mind.
♪♪ [ Beatboxing ] ♪♪ -So.
.
.
-♪ Levitation ♪ -Levitation, for those of youwho don't know, is something that you have to go to Massachusetts or Coloradoto do legally.
-♪ Levitation ♪ -What do dragons eat? -Whatever they want.
-They eat what they want, son! Ask a dragon what they eat.
They're gonna say, “Argh! Whatever the [bleep] I want!Bring me some Popeyes.
” Yo, this right here.
Look.
See, this isan important episode.
How are you going to sayit's boring? It's so important.
People who didn't see each othersee each other now.
[ Laughs ] Watch.
Watch.
Look at Bran.
Sneaky ass.
Bran is like a goddamn –What them — Peeping Toms.
He's like a peeping Tom.
Bran just show up.
-How did you sneak up on me? -Arya! This is the reunion.
Look at the face in the back.
-There's your peeping Tom.
-Aw, him and Branbe hanging out.
-Where were you before?-Peeping Tom.
[ Laughter ] -In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland.
-We look forward to fightingon your behalf.
-She like him, though.
He cute.
He more honorablethan that piece of [bleep].
And this is what happens, though.
Look, the good man walks out, and the piece of [bleep] stays, and that's who we [bleep] –the piece of [bleep].
You know, as old as I'm getting, I'm starting to get to whereI would date that dude.
-She gives meno sign of affection.
My heart is nearly broken.
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
It could be broken.
-You buying it? You buying it?-No! I would be like, “Oh, I'm sosorry your heart broken.
” -Have you bought it?Have you bought it in the past? -Yes! Of course.
All the [bleep]time.
Every goddamn time.
Why do you thinkI'm sitting here [bleep] watching “Game of Thrones”with you and not at home having sexwith a [bleep] man? -What?This isn't your first choice? [Bleep].
Heartbreaking.
-I'm going to put a princein your belly.
-Ohh.
-If a guy used that line on you, be honest — -I'd be like, “No, you ain't.
I got the best birth controlin Detroit.
” [ Laughter ] My uterus got Fort Knoxin that [bleep].
You ain't puttin' [bleep]in my belly.
Except for some ribs.
[ Laughter ] Theon! -[ Grunts ] -I think head-buttshappen more on television than they do in real life.
-Yeah, because do you knowhead-butts literally hurt for real? I've head-butteda couple people.
I've been in some situationswhere my hands wasn't free.
[ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Do you thinka flame sword is so happy when they go somewherewhere there's no lights? 'Cause all of a sudden, he's so important.
-It's pretty cocky.
Especially when somebodygot to light a cigarette.
Look at this.
Yeah, exactly.
-What? Ohh.
-Exactly.
Exactly.
-We just have to hope theNight King doesn't come first.
-[ Screaming ] [ Screaming ] -Okay.
So the hard work paying off.
-This is what I want to know — -I'm telling you.
Nail the arms to the wall.
-That's what I'm saying.
Who did they get to do that? Who did they get to do that?-They say it'll work.
-Did they — Did they –I mean, did they space it? Like, they cut the arms.
Like, who cut the arms? Who cut 'em and put 'em so —Fire sword.
-Beautiful.
-So nice.
-Play it cool with the hood.
Whoa.
-Yeah, [bleep].
Yeah, we got somebody thatwant to welcome you here.
Look to your right.
Yeah, [bleep].
You pushed me out the window! I am in a wooden wheelchair! Do you know how hard it isto be in a wooden wheelchair?! Yeah, bitch, you thought you killed me.
You thought you killed me.
You didn't.
Hello.
He said all that.
That's it.
Sorry.
-Whew.
-I thought it was good.
-What are you going to dowhen it's over? When “Game of Thrones” leaves, what are you going to do? -I'm going to make my own”Game of Thrones.
” -You are? What kind of characterwould you play? -I'm gonna play all of them.
-Mm-hmm.
-I'm gonna play the Night King.
-So like “The Klumps.
” -No, that would be horrible.
[ Laughs ] “Come on over here, Cletus! You gonna leavewith enough, Cletus!” -Now, that, but in “Game of Thrones.
” Now, do that as Daenerys.
-“Come on over here, Jon Snow.
You ain't gonna bend the knee? I swear to God, I'm gonnamake you bend the knee.
Come on over here.
“-More, more, more! [ Laughter ] -Hey, everybody, this was “Game of Jones.
” [ Cheers and applause ].
