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Home Đời sống Giải trí

Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones’ Final Season Premiere

2 years ago
in Giải trí
Game of Jones: Leslie Jones and Seth Watch Game of Thrones’ Final Season Premiere

-Hey, everybody.

LIÊN QUAN

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I don't need to tell you it's the final seasonof “Game of Thrones, ” a show I love.

And the person I love watchingit with most is right here.

That's Leslie Jones, everybody.

-Yeah! -And you know what that means.

It's time once againfor “Game of Jones.

” -We got ribs! [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Ooh, is it a differenttitle sequence? -Exactly.

You noticed.

You've kept up with it.

-Well, well, well.

-They had to putthe new lands in there.

-The new lands.

You know what, I appreciate this.

Because let's be honest –they didn't have to changethe opening credits.

We would have watched it anyway.

-They did have to change it, because they knew thatI was gonna get that ass.

-What ass? [ Laughter ] I'm already confused.

-Whatever ass that's not doing what they'resupposed to be doing.

-“Game of Thrones” is confusingenough without you immediately saying you gotta get that ass.

-I'm gonna get that ass.

They know whatI'm talking about.

[ Laughs ] I never thoughtI'd be this nerdy.

-Before “Game of Thrones, ” did you have any of this nerdin you? Is this the first nerdy thingyou've liked? -Uhh, had a thing for”Happy Gilmore” for a while.

-Okay.

-Is that nerdy? -Not the same as this.

[ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Aaah!-Ohh! [ Laughter ] -Love her! And she looksstronger than ever.

-Can you give mea little Arya face? Give me that Arya face.

[ Laughter ] -So pretty.

They're cold.

They're cold, Seth.

-Yeah.

-Look at all them soldiers.

-Where they coming –Oh, I — Oh.

There it —None of them got penises.

-Oh, right, right, right.

-None of them got penises.

That's why they marchingso good in the cold.

Look at that!-Look at this.

Yeah.

-Look at that!-That's good.

-Oh, that is your nephew! -Hey, will you –That is your auntie! -Will you explain it to me onemore time? How are they related? -Okay.

Jesus wept on the cross.

Listen, his mama and daddyis Robb Stark's sister.

.

.

and Daenerys' uncle, I believe, or something to that effect.

'Cause they cousins.

-Okay.

-No, they're not cousins.

They auntie and nephew.

-Gotcha.

-So how that — -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-How that happen? Look how they lookin'at him, though.

Look how they lookin' at him.

Like, “Yeah, yeah, y'all don't belong here.

” We're here for you! Yeah.

Look at my dragon like that! Look at my dragon like that!But my dragon's here, though.

My dragon ain't no outsider!You know why? 'Cause he's a dragon! Argh! Look at Arya.

Look at Arya.

Arya want to rideone of them [bleep].

Oh, I'm sorry.

-Leslie, I mean this.

There's no one I'd ratherhave a dragon than you, and I also would nottrust you with one.

-You better nevertrust me with a dragon.

It shoot fire and fly?-Yeah.

-That means I'm gonna dodrive-bys every weekend, son.

Argh! “Why Anthony didn'ttext me back? Argh!” -You're a man.

-Almost.

-What? Now what that mean?What that mean? And Sansa say, “Yeah, he weird, but that's all right, though.

” -That right there is like thatthing where one of your family members comes to “SNL”and you're like, “How did you like the show?” And they're like, “It was all right.

” -[ Laughs ] -We don't have timefor all this.

The Night King has your dragon.

-Bran, you not — That's not how you introduceyourself to people.

You say, “Hey, my name is bran.

” Look at these dirty [bleep].

I bet you it stank like –Ooh, I bet you it Stank like hot hell [bleep]up in there.

-Now, Leslie, I have heard from some people that this episodeis a little boring.

-What?! Blasphemy.

Blasphemy.

Anybody said that, you startunfollowing me right now, 'cause you obviouslydon't watch “GoT.

” And you don't knowthis is a transition episode.

Look at my girl.

My girl.

Like, look at my girl.

Look.

She about to pop somebodyin they face.

What you mean boring?Have you levitated? -What does levitated mean?-What? You haven't levitated?Yo, cut the cameras.

Cut this.

Cut the cameras.

You ain't levitated.

You must be out your damn mind.

♪♪ [ Beatboxing ] ♪♪ -So.

.

.

-♪ Levitation ♪ -Levitation, for those of youwho don't know, is something that you have to go to Massachusetts or Coloradoto do legally.

-♪ Levitation ♪ -What do dragons eat? -Whatever they want.

-They eat what they want, son! Ask a dragon what they eat.

They're gonna say, “Argh! Whatever the [bleep] I want!Bring me some Popeyes.

” Yo, this right here.

Look.

See, this isan important episode.

How are you going to sayit's boring? It's so important.

People who didn't see each othersee each other now.

[ Laughs ] Watch.

Watch.

Look at Bran.

Sneaky ass.

Bran is like a goddamn –What them — Peeping Toms.

He's like a peeping Tom.

Bran just show up.

-How did you sneak up on me? -Arya! This is the reunion.

Look at the face in the back.

-There's your peeping Tom.

-Aw, him and Branbe hanging out.

-Where were you before?-Peeping Tom.

[ Laughter ] -In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland.

-We look forward to fightingon your behalf.

-She like him, though.

He cute.

He more honorablethan that piece of [bleep].

And this is what happens, though.

Look, the good man walks out, and the piece of [bleep] stays, and that's who we [bleep] –the piece of [bleep].

You know, as old as I'm getting, I'm starting to get to whereI would date that dude.

-She gives meno sign of affection.

My heart is nearly broken.

-Oh, I'm so sorry.

It could be broken.

-You buying it? You buying it?-No! I would be like, “Oh, I'm sosorry your heart broken.

” -Have you bought it?Have you bought it in the past? -Yes! Of course.

All the [bleep]time.

Every goddamn time.

Why do you thinkI'm sitting here [bleep] watching “Game of Thrones”with you and not at home having sexwith a [bleep] man? -What?This isn't your first choice? [Bleep].

Heartbreaking.

-I'm going to put a princein your belly.

-Ohh.

-If a guy used that line on you, be honest — -I'd be like, “No, you ain't.

I got the best birth controlin Detroit.

” [ Laughter ] My uterus got Fort Knoxin that [bleep].

You ain't puttin' [bleep]in my belly.

Except for some ribs.

[ Laughter ] Theon! -[ Grunts ] -I think head-buttshappen more on television than they do in real life.

-Yeah, because do you knowhead-butts literally hurt for real? I've head-butteda couple people.

I've been in some situationswhere my hands wasn't free.

[ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Do you thinka flame sword is so happy when they go somewherewhere there's no lights? 'Cause all of a sudden, he's so important.

-It's pretty cocky.

Especially when somebodygot to light a cigarette.

Look at this.

Yeah, exactly.

-What? Ohh.

-Exactly.

Exactly.

-We just have to hope theNight King doesn't come first.

-[ Screaming ] [ Screaming ] -Okay.

So the hard work paying off.

-This is what I want to know — -I'm telling you.

Nail the arms to the wall.

-That's what I'm saying.

Who did they get to do that? Who did they get to do that?-They say it'll work.

-Did they — Did they –I mean, did they space it? Like, they cut the arms.

Like, who cut the arms? Who cut 'em and put 'em so —Fire sword.

-Beautiful.

-So nice.

-Play it cool with the hood.

Whoa.

-Yeah, [bleep].

Yeah, we got somebody thatwant to welcome you here.

Look to your right.

Yeah, [bleep].

You pushed me out the window! I am in a wooden wheelchair! Do you know how hard it isto be in a wooden wheelchair?! Yeah, bitch, you thought you killed me.

You thought you killed me.

You didn't.

Hello.

He said all that.

That's it.

Sorry.

-Whew.

-I thought it was good.

-What are you going to dowhen it's over? When “Game of Thrones” leaves, what are you going to do? -I'm going to make my own”Game of Thrones.

” -You are? What kind of characterwould you play? -I'm gonna play all of them.

-Mm-hmm.

-I'm gonna play the Night King.

-So like “The Klumps.

” -No, that would be horrible.

[ Laughs ] “Come on over here, Cletus! You gonna leavewith enough, Cletus!” -Now, that, but in “Game of Thrones.

” Now, do that as Daenerys.

-“Come on over here, Jon Snow.

You ain't gonna bend the knee? I swear to God, I'm gonnamake you bend the knee.

Come on over here.

“-More, more, more! [ Laughter ] -Hey, everybody, this was “Game of Jones.

” [ Cheers and applause ].

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