In this video, you will learn the 6 stepsto becoming a priority in your man’s life.
So, if you’re dating a man who makes youfeel more like an option than a priority, then this is the video for you.
Don’t goanywhere because we are starting right now.
hi everyone.
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I’m dr Antonio Borrello andI’m a psychologist and relationship coach.
This channel is all about helping you buildgreat relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love.
So, if you’reinterested in making your love life the best part of your life, start now by clicking thesubscribe button and the bell notification so you aren’t missing anything.
OK.
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howto become a priority in his life.
Most of you are probably familiar with thesaying.
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don’t make someone your priority when you are simply their option.
It’s aquote that has been going around for a while and it really resonates with people becauseit is so relatable, yet it is profound.
And here is the reason.
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When you are a man’ssecond option.
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rather than his priority, you're fooled into thinking you matter, except it's really not true.
You're getting just bits and pieces of thisman’s attention when it’s convenient for him, or when he doesn’t have something better to do, but somehow you’re hanging on tothe hopes that things will turn around and he will recognize your value and make youa priority in his life.
And as you know, being in this state of limbo, being his second choice and knowing that you are not a priority is a very frustrating andpainful place.
The good news.
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you’re going to learn the6 steps to turn things around.
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oh and then I’m going to share the most important pointof this whole video… so make sure you stick around and get the last and most importantpoint.
OK… so how do you know you are an optionand not his priority.
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Well, First, 1.
1.
He Doesn’t Consistently Return YourCalls or Texts.
Notice, I didn’t say instantly, I said consistently….
There is a difference.
I mean people have work, school, and otherobligations and can’t always be immediately available, right?But consistently means that the person is excited about you and they’re eager to stayin touch and communicate with you.
So, if he’s busy, he may not be able to respondright away, but he always responds and usually explainshis delay… Now, if he goes days and days without returningyour phone calls and texts and then acts like it’s no big deal.
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Yeah.
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you probably nota priority 2.
He only makes plans that are convenientfor him.
In other words, He doesn’t go out of hisway to see you.
A guy who makes you a priority will make efforts to show you how specialyou are to him.
Actions speak louder than words here.
A mancan tell you anything he wants… but if he is not willing to put in the effort… togo out of his way to show you how special you are… well, then something is wrong.
3.
He makes excuses instead of making timeNo matter how busy a man is, he either makes time for you, or he makes excuses for you.
if you or your relationship is important and a high priority, he will find the time ormake the time for you.
If he doesn’t make the time, your relationshipis just not a high priority at this time.
But… and this is important… it’s notnecessarily a reflection of you… it could simply be that this man is too focused onother goals.
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The problem is that maybe he shouldn’t be dating at all… especiallyif he’s sending mixed messages or leading people on.
And this is one that strikes close to homefor me, so forgive me for sharing this… , But, I don’t really date that much at all.
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for this very reason.
I can’t even tellyou the last time I went on a date… I just feel too busy and haven’t made thetime that a relationship deserves.
So, rather than lead anyone on, I just haven’t beendating.
And That reminds me of a meme I wrote a fewyears ago…….
A relationship is a full time job.
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don’t apply if you are only availablepart time.
4.
He tells you he's not ready for a relationship.
This is a popular one that both men and women use when they are not into someone.
If a guy is telling you upfront… I’m not ready for a relationship, but wants to continuedating and hanging out… It’s likely you are an option rather than a priority.
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because remember, ½ of the motivation for getting into a relationship and a commitment, is because you don’t you’re your partner to be single and available to fall in lovewith someone else.
So, if he’s not worried about you datingother people, you’re likely an option.
OK, so how do you turn things around and becomehis priority.
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Well, follow these steps in order and things are sure to turn around.
1.
Stop initiating communicationsIf you want a man to recognize your value and importance in his life, you must pullaway.
So, Do not initiate calls or texts to him.
Notice, I didn’t say ignore him or stop communicating.
I’m saying stop being theone that is always looking for him and starting communications.
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In other words.
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you’re not the one who’s going to be starting the day with a good morningcall or text.
Instead, let him do it.
Eventually, he will recognize the differenceand wonder why you’ve suddenly gone silent on him.
Let him feel a little down and realizehe was happier when things were different.
Oh, and Make him wait before you return hiscalls and texts.
I understand the urge to respond back immediately, especially if you’vebeen waiting to hear from him for a while.
But Taking some time before Responding tohis contact sends the message that you are busy and not just sitting by your phone waitingfor him to reach out.
Have patience and take your time before responding…doing so will certainly increase his yearning for you.
2.
Become Scarce.
This can be difficult to do.
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because When you like someone, you want to spend as muchtime with them as possible, right? But that can often backfire… because whenyou are constantly available, you’re diminishing your value.
That’s why you need to startbeing a little less available.
Think about the “law of scarcity.
” We allknow this one: People want what they can't have.
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things that are scarce are more valuable….
If your time is scarce, it’s has more value.
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So.
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don’t be so available.
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when he calls to ask you out last minute ….
Wait.
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let me stress this point.
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when he calls youwith a last minute request, you must decline his request….
DO NOT Accept last minute plans with him.
Instead, offer him an alternative time whenyou’re available for a date.
this will make him prioritize and plan his time with you.
#3 Be a little bit Mysterious.
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That means you don’t have to share every detail of your daily activities with him.
You don’t need to over explain every little thing that you’re doing… you want himto wonder.
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to develop intrigue… it’s ok if he’s a little worried too.
Remember, before he won your heart… he was a bit anxious and worried that you might evenreject him, right? When you have plans with friends… tell himyou have plans with friends.
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you don’t have to go above and beyond to make him feelat ease about what you’re doing.
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remember… you want him to appreciate you and your time…and you want him to remember your value as a friend.
So… let him wonder and if he needsto ask, let him do that too.
4.
Let him invest in you.
People care more when they put more effort into their relationships, So, let your partnerinvest in you.
When they do, they are increasing their feelings of love and appreciation foryou.
But how do you get him to invest in you if you aren’t his priority? Seems tricky, right? Well there are a few ways.
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For example, ifhe wants to see you, make him come to your side of town… let him drive to you and pickyou up.
Don’t make it so easy… make him work for it.
And when you are with him, ask him to helpyou with small favors… for example, you could ask him to help you with some work thatyou need completed… or ask him for help solving a problem.
See, when he helps you with something, he is investing his time and energy into youand he will be valuing and appreciating you more as a result.
Another way he can invest.
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instead of youagreeing to watch football with him all day, ask him to binge watch a show that you willboth enjoy.
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and when he loves it, you now have something more in common.
Remember, Themore he invests, the more he will like you as a result… I know it seems counterintuitive, but trust me… we appreciate and value the things we work hard for.
This one is superimportant, so find a way to incorporate it.
5 PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS… PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
Sometimes people go out of their way to show the person they’re dating how much theylike them.
… they jump at every opportunity to talk, hang out, text… Usually that’sa good thing.
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but not if you’re trying to raise your value or trying to get him tomake you a priority, In this case, you need to take the attentionoff of him, and put it back onto yourself.
Go out with your friends and have fun.
Dosomething for you… take up a new hobby or do something that you enjoy.
This forces himto recognize your independence and that you’re not just sitting by the phone waiting forhis calls.
Remember, one of the most important thingsthat men find attractive in women is independence.
He’s got to know how full and complete yourlife is.
And, if he becomes part of it, it is because you WANT him to be part of it, not because you NEED him to part of it.
Remember, he needs to see you as a high value womanwith an exciting life….
And when he sees you that way, he is going to want to be apart of it… and to be a part of your life, he has to make you a priority.
6.
Be willing to walk awayYou MUST be willing to walk away from someone and something if it isn’t working.
Thisone is super important.
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he must know that you aren’t willing tosettle, that you aren’t going to tolerate behaviors or actions of his that you don’tagree with, and that you’re not anyone’s second choice.
In addition, in order for him to really appreciateyou, he needs to experience this ‘fear of loss’ – essentially, the fear of losingyou.
But He will only experience this if he knows you are willing and able to walk awayfrom something that isn’t right for YOU.
And that brings me to the most important pointof the video.
If you’ve spent some time doing all of these steps, and you find thathe still isn’t prioritizing you or the relationship, then you must walk away with your head uphigh.
Look, I know it is not easy to accept thefact that a man doesn’t want a relationship with you… or that a man hasn’t made youa priority.
It hurts….
A lot… that’s because people deeply personalizeromantic rejection to the point of attaching their value and self-worth to whether or nota man is wants them.
But, when you do that… you give away yourpower and rely on the validation of a man to tell you that you are good enough.
Let me repeat that.
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when your self worth and value is attached to whether or not someman wants a relationship with you, you give up all over your power.
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hoping to get validationfrom him.
So, If he doesn’t want you, you start to question yourself… and ask “What’swrong with me?” And that is the opposite of the way you should be thinking about it.
The question you should be asking is, what’s wrong with him? Think about it this way.
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this is a manwho hasn’t known you very long.
He’s just a person you’ve went on a few dates with.
He doesn’t know you or your value.
And Your value and worth has nothing to do with hisperception of you.
After all, his perception is simply based on his imagination and thelimited interactions that he’s had with you (both good and bad).
So Take your power back and trust the process.
Regardless of how badly you want him, If he isn’t into you, accept this fact and trustthat it is meant to be, for your well-being as well as his.
it is not personal and it says absolutely nothing about your value as a human being, how lovable you are, or whether or not you will ever find Mr.
Right.
Giving your power away, by basing your worth on someone else’s opinion of you will alwayscreate emotional suffering.
But When you shift into what you want, instead of whether ornot someone want’s you – you gain so much freedom and you move forward with confidence.
Check out this video for about how self love changes the way you date, or click here towatch a video that youtube thinks you will like… I’ll see you in that video.
