Often the advice I give to people today is fast forward.
Where you are Look at yourself in 10 15 20 years time and ask yourself the question is That where I want to be and if the answer's no Then you need to find a new path to just get to understand yourself You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are Everybody welcome to impact Theory you were here my friends because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless But you know that having Potential is not the same as actually doing something with it So our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams All right today's guest is a former monk whose wisdom has truly gone viral after finishing Business School He turned down lucrative offers from prestigious companies shaved his head and hit the road for three years He traveled across India Europe and England living as a monk Studying meditating and building food and shelter programs for those in need he was definitely in love with what he was doing But he knew that it didn't scale so driven by a desire to share what he was learning with as many people as possible He reengaged with the world and dove headfirst into learning about the tools and techniques that might allow knowledge To spread as fast as entertainment and to that end he joined Accenture helping them build their digital division while learning about the forces shaping the new digital landscape he learned fast and quickly became their number one social media influencer in a company of 400, 000 people along the way he also helped advise over 150 executives on their personal brands allowing him a very broad base with which to test his theories and Leveraging what he learned in 2016 he launched his own Facebook page and it exploded in less than 12 months his inspiring entertaining and highly useful videos garnered over 1 Billion views and now he has north of 2.
5 million followers.
Globally he makes content Not only for his own pages But for places like the Huffington Post and he has interviewed such luminaries as Tim Ferriss simon Sinek dr.
Shefali Deepak Chopra and countless others in the wake of his ridiculous level of success as both a content creator and digital strategist He was named to Forbes 30 under 30 list in 2017 the Asian media Awards named his blog best blog in 2016 and he was added to national Geographics chasing genius counsel for which he is now helping to source solutions to some of the world's greatest challenges So please help me in welcoming the urban monk himself the man who is proving that you really can scale impact Jay Shetty Thanks for having me dude truly honor oh, man.
Thank you goes both ways so as I was telling you before We started rolling in my research like I normally just go watch all the interviews that people have done And I've come across you like a million times and researching other people so I thought well this would be the easiest thing ever Like this guy would have been interviewed a hundred times And you haven't like it's insane to me like you're pumping out so much content Nobody's nabbed you up yet, so this is gonna Be really fun to really go deep your ideas are clearly very well Thought through so there should be a lot of fun Thank You Man Yeah, I'm patient yeah patient of having the right interview's the right time being with the right people Having it be framed correctly, so I'm very honored to be a huge fan of the show.
Thank you Thank you so much for having me absolutely so one thing.
I want to talk about obviously Having lived in London knowing a little bit about what it's like to grow up as an Indian kid in England How on earth did you buck the trend of you once said growing up in in an Indian household You're either a doctor or a lawyer or a failure? yes, that's right that's right So How like how'd you not fall prey to that yeah? Those are my three options that was it there was no full option so according to my parents family or their community I grew up in I'm a failure.
That's crazy and How did I buck the trend I was really really fortunate? That very early on I started to experiment with what mattered to me sometimes.
I got me in a lot of trouble What people don't know about me is that I was suspended from school three times for Trying out all sorts of things like things that people would never imagine if someone who goes on to be a monk.
I was X Anything with all the drugs in the world.
I had multiple relationships.
I was really trying to search for some sort of meaning Fulfillment and as far as long as I've known I've been chasing thrill I really value thrill and feeling like it might not see that coming Ya know not many people do it's it's very different from 14 to 18 I was like this kid who just wanted to find new things out and My parents rhetoric would always be well make sure you get good grades And I used to think well if I can be bad and get good grades, and then it's all works why everyone's happy so that's that's kind of what I did and At 18.
I was really fortunate when I met a monk and this monk was invited to speak and I kind of just went because one of my friends forced me to at that time I was missing two CEOs and entrepreneurs and business people and marketers who who I thought that's what I was aspiring to be like and then I hear this monk and He captivated me like no one had ever captivated me before It was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet.
You know I was completely fixated on him and his message and That is the beginning without going into too much detail before we probe That was the beginning of what changed me because I went from being someone who did only want all those things to become successful and Trying to but I started hearing my own inner voice Much more in all that noise that I had around me I Remember one of my my parents had a math's tutor for me because they wanted to be amazing at math and I was I was Pretty good at numbers and I'd have this tutor and he'd tell me that he goes the reason that you're struggling with the next question is because you're always worried about what your parents think and And that really stayed in my head I was just like wow so as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life, and there are all these little things happening I lost two great friends when I was 16 one girl died in a car accident One guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence that That made me rethink everything.
I just thought to myself wait a minute these were beautiful people people that I loved People that in my opinion were good people, and I just lost them in a moment And it was kind of like this collation of little things that just made me think wait a minute having money having Fame this that Just doesn't seem to add up and then and then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible and as I said he was Completely captivating and then I found out that he'd given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be a monk And I thought to myself who does that you know? He's given up everything that I'm chasing and that all my friends are chasing But he seems happier than anyone.
I've ever met before and he spoke about this incredible principle where he said that we should plant trees Under whose shade we do not plan to sit And he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice and that kind of just Penetrated me right there when he said the words Selfless sacrifice for the first time in my life, I felt a thrill about something that I'd never felt before it'll Wow Giving up everything you have for the service of others sounds like the best thing you could possibly do and I don't know why I had that thought because I wasn't a Spiritual kid growing up.
I wasn't a religious kid growing up.
I wasn't even a good kid growing up I was just a rebel a misfit trying things out and Experimental which I still consider myself and so what I started to do is I was interning At companies and firms and corporates thinking I was getting a grad job afterwards And then I'd spend the rest of my summer holidays interning in India living with him as a monk So I'd use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just be out there with the monks And he introduced me to another 200 to 500 monks that were just like him just as smart just as bright giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better place I want to go back yeah, so So why that resonated with you? Which is really surprising so and maybe you're just you know so far ahead of where I was at the time But that would have sounded absurd to me at that time yeah Did you already have a sense of unease that like I'm a rebel without a cause or like? What was it about that moment and you you you seem very aware of yourself? So I'm hoping that some of that awareness was present then like what was that? moment I believe the moment was I was I always had friends who are older than me and I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers successful jobs Beautiful partners whatever it was but I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment meaning and purpose in their lives and I've always been an observer and I would see these people or like five years older than me seven years older than me maybe ten Years older than me, and I'd be watching them and go is that the life.
I want and often the advice I give to people today is Fast-forward where you are look at yourself in 10 15 20 years time and ask yourself the question is that where I want to be If you're in a company look at the person who's 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself is that where I want to be If you're in a start-up look at what other startups have got to in similar roles And go is that where I want to be and if the answer's no Then you need to find a new part and for me the answer at that time from observing was know the path that my parents or Society or the university I went to or the community.
I had that was carving out for me it didn't feel like the path for me, so I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path I was just so Fortunate that it happened to be enough lifting powerful paths as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road Because that could've been possible too – so walk me through the first time you step off the plane in India It's summer and so I'm living there.
I'm waking up I'm almost doing all the practices just as if you were shadowing a CEO I'm just shadowing a monk, and so I'm just shadowing his lifestyle so we wake up He's like one of the most elite monks, so we're waking up at like 2:00 a.
Every day after sleeping at like 9:00 or 10:00 p.
And then we study these ancient Vedas which are 5000 plus years old together, and we spend two hours I'm studying with the best of the best here, so he can like analyze and assimilate And I'm learning fast taking notes then 4:00 a.
We go to collective meditation We do those practices with the other monks as well 6:00 a.
We have personal meditation So I'm literally going through The life of a monk and falling in love with it step by step going wow I've never had this experience before But I just drew myself in and I was practicing it to the tee Right it wasn't like oh no my back hurts when I sit on the floor I can't stay here for too long or you today when people are like oh, I can't meditate for longer than two minutes I was like no I'm gonna do it for two hours If that's what they're doing I'm gonna give it a go because I can only test The hypothesis will only be true if the experiment is carried out to the degree that they are So if the hypothesis is if you live like this you are happy more fulfilled Then I want to do that all right, so let's explore this then to the lens of Creating one's own perfect life.
Yes, which is pretty interesting especially because Interesting because I think this is so accurate to the way that most people are it's not like oh There's some grand missing thing in my life But you took that first action so codify this for me or for anybody that wants they don't know what their ideal life looks like they just know that they're not living it yet, so step number one is take it seriously to find out if the hypothesis is true or not you have to take the The experiment you have to do it sincerely What comes after that I think even one step before that is is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences See we live in echo chambers.
We're just surrounded by the same thinking how often do you bump into a monk? You know it just doesn't happen.
You don't have no one has a dinner party and goes.
We've invited the monk You know from a town like the local monk like no one ever does that and so You meet people who are just like us most of the time? and we talk about this in business bulletin if you want to be a billionaire spend time with billionaires if you want to be a millionaire spend our millionaires if you want to be a Tech startup spend time with you know, that's that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time But what if you want to find purpose and master the mind? There's no one better than a monk who's mastered the mind so for me the first step is just Opening yourself up to new experiences, and new role models because most of us can't see ourselves in people so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see and And I mean there's this beautiful quote that I've been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it But I didn't so it's by a philosopher and writer named Cooley, and he said that today I'm not what I think I am.
I'm not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am and i just let that blow your mind for now.
It's a it's so powerful.
I'm not what I think I am I'm not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves Hence my identity is made by what my parents think I should be my identity is made up by what my college or? University thinks I should achieve While you're living in that bubble and that echo chamber Getting to what you really want to do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit And I think so many people feel that way today that they don't fit into the current education system They don't fit with the three or four or five careers that you're taught exist so that process of self excavation and actualization First requires being exposed you can't be what you can't see if I never saw a monk I would never have wanted to be a monk if I never meet a billionaire I wouldn't want to be one because I wouldn't know what that feels like I don't know what it looks like I don't know what it takes and And I think that's the biggest challenge of our society that we're not exposed so that's the first step being exposed to unique experiences and role models Second step is finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about and exactly like you said taking it seriously Shadow their network with them spend time with them observe them even from afar it takes that observation being addicted to observing that person's lifestyle and Then the third step is going yes or no does that work for me Not everyone who's gonna go up from become a monk is gonna.
Feel like the way I did and that's cool But not everyone is gonna go and follow and shadow a billion anger that's exactly the lifestyle I want they may want the result but do they want the hard work that goes with it and so for me That's the third step It's observing Focusing shadowing getting as close to the process of that individual and then going yes or no do I want that process Not do I want the result ever wants to be that monk who's fully enlightened You know can walk through as an incredible or that people just gravitate towards But when you realize he has to wake up at 2:00 a.
Every day and sleeps about 4 to 6 hours You like you know I don't want to do that that doesn't sound like me all right So yeah a couple things one you said he's as powerful as he is yeah fine power for me Power being so from amongst perceptive perspective the greatest power is to be self controlled To be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you want it to be You are completely detached and undeterred from external ups and downs you're able to navigate anything that seems tough challenging fun excitement with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced an equanimity Without being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain, but knowing how to navigate every situation to me That's great strength and great power.
I heard in one of your talks.
You were saying that if you look at a Literal lifeline a heartbeat in instance, you know it's it's up And it's down and people have this sense that something like enlightenment would be that the equanimity forever yeah, and just an even keel and you said But what what does that resemble it resembles a flatline when you die correct? So what is it like what I love about you is you sort of went into the wilderness of being a monk But you've brought it back to the real world Because when you talk about a monk you talk about them being detached and that to me seems like the only real way to have That sort of super even keel existence, which is not appealing to me personally So if you're bringing back that notion of power of having control over yourself not letting your emotions Take you everywhere, but knowing that life.
Is is the series of ups and downs? What does that power look like when it's brought back? Absolutely and actually that's the whole aim of monk training It's it's more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment It is bringing that mindset into the real world where you get to test it now I got to do that for real when I left being a monk around five years ago and When I left it was like oh my god.
I'm in the real world now again real world I have to think about how to apply all this I'm gonna test for real All this stuff that I've learned and I was scared like I was nervous I was she said all those things that I've been trained not to be Rushed back Because for the first time in my life, I had to really put it into practice And I love that feeling I'm so glad that I had to do that so for me.
Actually the mind set is completely Trainable to bring it into the real world.
That's that's what I'm trying to do And what it allows you to do is it allows you to gain clarity and perspective when you need it Because you know when you can just take a bird's-eye view from something You know when you need to get close into something.
You know when you need to pull back from something There's a beautiful verse in the Bhagavad Gita.
That says that Detachment is not that you own nothing Detachment is that nothing owns you And I love it because to me that summarizes detachment in a way that it's not usually explained Usually people see detachment it's being away from everything actually the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you and That's real power.
That's real strength How many people do we know that have had fame and then that Fame has ruined them so for me that definition of detachment Is possible to practice even in the real world rather than saying oh, I'm just gonna have a really simple life I'm just gonna have nothing in life What was the best part about being a monk the best part about being a monk is that your? Morning routine and practices are so powerful That you can actually aspire for more incredible values in life because your mind is clear because your mind is clear and you have That ability to have more clarity so you can seek that which is which is higher So I'll give an example of what I'm defined.
I worry about sort of yeah.
What is higher? Yes, exactly so for me Being able to overcome Ego being able to overcome envy being able to overcome jealousy Being able able to overcome the negative of competitive State there's a positive competitive State and there's a negative Competitive state today when people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube all you're looking at is ohShe got that many likes or he got that many likes she got engaged or He got married or oh my god Look at her body or look at that, and it's like that stuff's destroying us inside and the jealousy ego greed To be able to have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems And and we know that we know that because all the mental health resets today suggests that things like isolation Over exposure we now can have more pain Consumption in one day because of what we were exposed to then the pain we would have had in a lifetime That's huge like that.
That's ridiculous to think that one day because of the media news in social media We consume more negative than we did in a lifetime for me being able to have time energy and clarity to focus on self purification That is the best thing about being a monk because you have that time reflection and a process and an environment that only Allows you to become more purified of those things so if I was the interviewer that I wanted to be I would have asked you This question when we were on the topic, but I'm gonna go back yes It's important enough you gave us the three ways that you can really construct your ideal life but define an ideal life for me mm-hmm so in an ideal life for me is a life and this applies to a company and organization and institution for me is An ideal life is when we all have a head a heart and a hand all three elements together Working in alignment without one or the other we start to lose something if you only have a head and a heart You'll find that life is stable and defined yes.
Yeah, sure sure sure sure so a head is the clarity of vision What you want what you want? Knowing what you want the way you picture life and being able to navigate make the decisions together that's a good head a good heart is being able to understand what your intuition and heart one's being able to connect and tap into that Understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may have painted for yourself So I often say to people that you get to where you want in life just not in the way you imagined and that's because The path that's paved up and down is far different to the path We pave so you can have a great head and a great vision and a great mission and know where you want to go but if your heart's not able to have that resilience and be able to adapt and And have compassion and care and all of that then then you're not going to be able to make the toughest decisions without your heart but to be able to Realize that we need to care and be sustainable and long-lasting requires a heart and a hand is that service Wanting to pass that on that which you have wanting to give it forward pay it forward The idea of serving with what you have I often say to people your passion is for you your purpose is for others Your passion makes you happy, but when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else's life.
That's a service That's a purpose and that's the hand So those are my three elements of an ideal life I Like that a lot.
No I when you first said it I'm glad you defined it because when you first said it I thought the heart was gonna be the part about like you know just compassion and caring for others doing something for other people But I like that the hand Being tied to service so one thing that I think a lot about is deep fulfillment like Really when I think about okay? What is a life? We're living honestly it comes down to neuro chemistry for me, and it comes down to Experiencing this world in a way that optimizes for for sustainable pleasure Which I'll differentiate between a bowl of ice cream a bump of cocaine those are pleasurable And then I I haven't done the cocaine but the ice cream I can speak for okay.
I've done but good Yeah, so how does that its it holds up? But they don't bring a lasting fulfillment is not sustainable right so both of them.
End up creating this self-destructive loop and purpose really does become that thing that gives you something that is on a neurochemical level deeply satisfying absolutely and How much of this like? How did you marry the? Deeply spiritual the often out tract often times I'll hear spiritual speakers talk and I feel them sort of drifting off into the ether how did you marry that to? experimentation neuroscience practicality like one why do you find that interesting and then – what are you doing with that so I studied behavioral science and universities, I've always been fascinated by why people do what they do and whenever I was reading these books that are five thousand years old my greatest fascination was finding a principal and finding its relevance in modern science And I said to myself the day I can't find that I'll quit I won't believe in this anymore So I'm still doing that and I'm ready to quit if someone shows me a piece of science And I can't find a principal in these ancient literature's or actually what I like to call these timeless literature's then I'll give up my faith because For me it has to track forward, and I'll give you a brilliant book today.
We're in the gratitude movement.
There's like a million Gratitude journals out there.
There's a million scientific studies on gratitude and gratitude has been linked to better mental health Self-awareness better relationships, I mean there's so many scientific studies on the on the neural level That shows that gratitude is great for your mind brain and fulfillment now I look back My gratitude is all over the timeless wisdom one of the first things we were trying to do when we were a monk was to Pay our respects to the earth for what it gives us, and you do that first thing in the morning What is that if not gratitude when you wake up in the morning? You thank the earth for the food you thank the earth for the water you thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk You start your day with gratitude Today the biggest tip on Forbes and ink and everything is start your day with gratitude like where does it come from? It's it's right there these things are old, so I'll I get fascinated.
I'm intrigued by the parallels and patterns because it saves you time It's the same way as which if I say that this business person got invested by this company And that's why they're successful because they had the right investors etc That's a pattern so I know if I'm building a business in that area.
I'm gonna look for investors like that It's the same thing that pattern saves you time rather than you trying to figure out does gratitude work.
How shall I be grateful? creating your own process almost It's really interesting life has taught me to stop believing everything I think mm-hmm ahhh and the way that it's taught me that is by Relentlessly punishing me every time I over invest in being right and I remember when my wife and I first got together she used to get chest infections all the time, and she told me it's because of the a/c mm-hm And I was like that doesn't make sense and she was like no no my my grandmother Used to just swear up and down if you if you're hot and you stand in front of a fan that you're gonna get sick And I was like that is the biggest load of like Crap I've ever heard in my life that does not make sense like getting sick comes from either Bacteria or virus like it's that simple And she was like I'm just saying it's my grandma always said and it seems true to me and I was like Oh, that's it's exhausting and then one time I went to a doctor and I was like yeah And my wife is crazy and thinks that When you're hot if you stand in front of AC.
It'll make you sick, and he goes.
I was like Hold on, and he was like well.
She's sort of right.
He's like This is what's happening you have a mucus layer membrane in your throat That's it keeps it moist keeps germs from being able to break the break through the barrier And so they get trapped they go to your stomach They're killed by the acid or whatever and he said But if you get a crack in that then the the bacteria or virus can actually get into your bloodstream and that's how you get Sick and it's just drying her throat out, and I was like Whoa, and it was one of those moments where I was like how many wives tales are true like directionally They're not accurate, but they're true if yes, you don't mean yes, and so that's how I think when you think of a book That's lasted as long as it as it has and I know you and I we've never talked about this But we share a real fascination for storytelling.
Yes, because it's a way to convey an idea that resonates Emotionally and allows people to carry it on and pass it on and obviously this all starts long before we have Science and can prove any of this, but we see the patterns We need a way to encapsulate the pattern we encapsulate it in a story the story is in and of itself totally fake but now in a modern context We're getting lost in that the story is fake even though the take-home message is incredibly powerful Yes And so as I I mean it's the classic story right the more you earn the less you realize you know mm-hmm and just as I've gotten older and Really started to understand the stuff and read as much as I do and quite frankly live and suffer and go through things like my wife having Microbiome issues and at first thinking her all of her descriptions make absolutely no sense And then you stop passing a judgement on it and start saying what if everything she's saying is actually true Like what? How would we treat it then right and so there is something really fascinating there now I find myself I'm Way more emotionally drawn to the science because when I can picture it I have a much easier time doing something about it So when you were talking about the things that you learned from meditation? I've gotten tremendous value out of meditation, but it's nothing like what you've learned so For me it was once I understood that diaphragm breathing made sense because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system Then because I understood it it like was the understanding becomes a force multiplier absolutely all right Let's talk about behavioral science self-awareness watching your content which Have you ever looked at how much content you put out? no It's a lot dude like when you search your name Like to go cause I'd normally try to watch like basically everything and I was like I give up it's just it's really incredible and Going through that stuff.
It seems really clear to me that you have massive self-awareness and What would you say like is a is there a process for people to gain more self-awareness and then what are from a behavioral You know just human behavior level, what are things that trip up the average person? The first answer I mean I'm a huge fan of the book Thinking Fast and Slow.
I don't know if you've read it yeah It's a great book because for me It's got a really close patent connection again to what I studied so just Understanding system 1 and system 2 if anyone watching hasn't read it.
I highly recommend.
It just being able to differentiate between System 1 and system 2 as Daniel, Kahneman calls it in the Vedic philosophy.
We recall differentiating between the mind and the intelligence Knowing how to differentiate the voices in your head is the first level of self-awareness? So break down what system 1 and system 2 are absolutely the system one is your initial response To anything that happens, it's it's a stop that I can't really say so if you say something.
I don't like My system one naturally would be a face that I pull it I might I don't agree with that That's that's the understanding of what system one in its your initial default Reaction in the moment that can be positive often for example if someone pulls out a knife You feel scared and you run that system one.
That's a good thing.
It's it's safe for you, but also system one is Someone says something that hurts your ego, and you start defending yourself immediately That's also.
That's a negative of system one that we would refer to as the mind it's built up of conditioning those responses are conditioned those default elements are all there because of habit and continuous practice The system too is more like the intelligence what I would say is more like the parent if you can Consider system one to be more like a child system two is more like a parent.
It looks more at the long-term It looks more at the bigger picture It processes that default reaction through a set of checking and metrics to decide Whether that's true the child is the the one that wants everything right away impatient quickly responding straight away reacting when it doesn't get what he wants the Intelligent parent and good one knows what the child wants and needs and what's better for in the long term Just starting there and being able to reflect and observe the different voices Inside of us is a great place to start your self-awareness Because the biggest challenge is that most of us don't know? What we're listening to and we don't most of us don't even know that there are more than one voice inside of us Just getting over that line is a huge win because now at least you was trying to differentiate In what you're hearing and that's gonna help you make better decisions in the future So that was answer one does that answer your question? Oh yes and second one was what? So that's awareness now can what are like typical things that trip people up that so In your answer just now it's like okay If you want to become more aware Just know that those two things are happening right you're gonna have an initial response And then one that's calculated now be aware of these two or three things that are also coming for you mm-hmm The biggest challenge is that there's just so much noise? It's like have you ever had someone in your home.
Maybe it's your wife or maybe it's a friend or whatever Just play a really bad song too often, right It's playing a song that you really don't have heard my wife laughed because she knows how guilty right okay? There you go right there You go and you just play a song and just think I'll turn that off and after a while It's been on for so long that you become immune to it like it's just there and it's still on It's there in the back of your mind And you didn't manage to turn it off so the noise that I describe in life.
Whether it's your parents expectations whether it's society's expectations Whether it's your partner's expectations all of those are like noise in the background and that noise drowns out your ability to understand the mind and the intelligence that's one of the biggest trip ups I Was looking at I gave a presentation called build a life, not a resume It's also one of my popular videos, but very good video.
Thank you, man Thank you so much And when I did the reset So you don't see this in the video because this resets didn't make it into the video But the research that I was doing was around the most common resume lies The truth is over 40 to 50 percent of us lie on our resumes.
Yeah, if you don't you're missing an opportunity I'll just say that yeah There you go right so and and I started to dig deeper and I was looking at you know a lot of people lie about Their dates and employment so instead of three days it's now three months You know whatever it may be now I dug deep and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people and so I spoke to people who lie on Their resumes and we know that at least 40 to 50 percent tell us they do Another thing is no one was proud of that.
No one no one was like yeah Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna get really what it came down to is.
We're really insecure about our own abilities Really what it came down to is We're not confident about what we have to offer when it came down to the lack of self-awareness What it came down to is a lack of understanding? What am I good at what am I passionate about what am I bringing to the table? That's what people were really worried about They were worried about the job, but when you dug beneath the surface the real behavioral trait That was coming out was Insecurity and being unconfident about one's potential that that tells us a lot that indicates a lot about you behavior and human nature That the noise from outside Makes us wanna fit into the container and that stops us from Differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying and what happens is that noise becomes your voice? so that noise becomes what you think is what you're saying and Most people don't realize that until 10 20 30 years down there how the hell do you like figure out so? Your analogy is great.
Yeah songs on.
You don't even realize is there anymore becomes total white noise you're oblivious to it in fact You'll only notice it if it gets turned off correct So how do they identify that like you have a process for that how do you hear the thing that you no longer here? So that you can shut it off Yeah, absolutely one of the biggest ones and we say this all the time But it applies mostly to this is switching your Association is switching association to what? to people that you hang out Right it's like changing your circle because if you're only hearing the same thing from that circle The only way to turn it off without you having to do mass amounts of reflection is Changing your circle where you start hearing we all ultimately find the things we want to hear right We know that all right right now in real time you and I are gonna do some cool shit, okay? Let's do it alright, so I created like a little Piece of content for Alexa where I was like okay? What are the the four questions that you can ask to get cuz you and I use different words? But I think we're saying the same yeah, so I call them invisible beliefs beautiful everybody has invisible beliefs And they're totally fucking with you.
Yeah, I quote noise.
Yeah, so they're they're controlling your life and the only way to get them to stop controlling your life is actually figure out what they are and so I Gave four questions that two of them, I just straight stole from Albert Einstein And it's the most important decision every person Will make in their life is whether they live in a friendly or a hostile universe So just make it a question right do you live in a friendly or hostile universe and? So the the point I'll go through all for but the point was that if you ask these four questions And they're just the tip of the iceberg, but if you ask these four questions you're gonna begin to identify your frame of reference basically, just trying to get people to frame themselves as either optimistic or pessimistic which I think is sort of the The big ham-handed like first thing you need to become aware of so first Do you live in a hostile or friendly universe another Einstein one is everything a miracle? Or is nothing a miracle right because you get to choose absolutely so neither one of those is objectively real But you pick, and it's really gonna color.
How you love it.
Yeah, and then number three Can you do anything you set your mind to without limitation or are there certain things you can't comprehend And then number four I'm forgetting right now, so always time because you get the yeah I get it.
I love them They're brilliant brilliant questions, so what like there? Willie incomplete so what could we add to that that would? Really bring this home for people so if that gets them optimistic pessimistic.
What what other at a really high level Yeah, sure.
What are other things that people could? Immediately switch or in fact would immediately switch if they change you know the people that they're hanging around But like let's really get real about what some of those things are so optimism pessimism.
What else so for me There was two questions that I had tossed myself that that really changed what I do One of my big questions is what advice would I give to my younger self? It's huge because I think that's the stuff that we regret That's the stuff that we wish we were doing that's the stuff that has been lost in the noise When you ask some what advice, would you give to your younger self the number one answer is I wish I studied this I? Wish I tried this out.
I wish I gave this a go you know Those are the call things that somebody didn't do yeah it's all the things that things people didn't do it's always like something that either should have just started or didn't continue and That's really tapping into someone's voice Right that's really tapping into what someone really wants to do and you're going way beyond just like oh What do you like? What are you passionate about so hard to answer that sometimes especially if you're drowning does that add to your questions? Or that's really interesting now I need to know what your answer was so I used to be I still do a lot of spoken-word when I grew up I Read the dictionary and read it to Saurus.
I loved language That's what I was fascinated by and for some reason I gave it up then I found out about a monk life became a monk And then almost back 10 years on at 28 I was going I asked myself that question and my answer was I miss words.
I miss expressiveness I miss sharing a message and stories through incredible language and ideas Potential rhymes, but flow and all of these things so that was the answer to my question One of the biggest answers was I wish I never stopped Right when did you ask that question? I was at you 28 Two years ago.
Here's the thing man.
I will tell you right now that your content Your content is like the modern version of spoken word so I don't know if that's on purpose or an accident But like there's an accident watching it.
I was like fuck like if he Is doing this off-the-cuff I have to hate myself a little yeah, and if he's writing it down He performs it so well that it feels off-the-cuff, but it's the answer is very impressive Thank you – okay.
I'm genuinely touched coming from now now Here's the thing like look and and I love giving compliments when they're real But more importantly you compliment the thing you want to reinforce in somebody so you've got a mission I find it very interesting, which is can we make? Knowledge my word I don't remember what where do you use these wisdom perfect so can we make wisdom spread as far and as fast as Entertainment which is so similar to what I'm trying to change people's beliefs through entertainment mm-hmm So I recognize the kindred soul right away, and then just watching the content I'm like whoa like it's I'm not surprised the number of views that you've gotten because its Songs work because they make you feel an emotion, but they also tap into Whatever it is about humans.
Whatever it is that we convey through rhythm so And before the cameras were rolling we were talking about it so the one thing that makes me very uncomfortable I do the same called impact quotes and impact quotes is the first time where I allowed myself to perform where I'm knowingly I would not say it like this if you and I were standing next to each other right this is for the camera I know how it's going to be edited.
I know we're gonna add music to it So it is a performance, but it's also some of our best performing content, so it's like what you were saying earlier about Look, I just accept that not everybody geeks out on neuroscience And so I have to understand like who my audiences and give them something in A way that will then resonate and go viral absolutely and so I think acknowledging that's really interesting so anyway I'm responding just to what you were saying Oh your life seems to be an echo of that answer all right, so there's a few more things Ya have to get to a friend.
I'm Loving this and if you're loving it.
That's even yeah 100% so There are three questions that you get asked a lot What are they who the big one is how do I find my passion okay? And you can tell me look what you get I need you to answer each one of them Yeah, but if you want to run through what each of the questions are and then we'll go back Yeah, no.
I just do them as they are perfect, so how do I find my passion my? Simple model which is the Dharma model it also dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic tradition It's very similar to what a Ikigai is being spoken about today, which is the Japanese version of reason for being? Why do we live where is meaning coming from and it talks about an intersect of four areas? What am I good at what do I love? What is the world need and how do I get paid for it to me those four help you unlock your passion when you find the intersect across all of those four You're making your passion your purpose.
You'll unlock your passion.
You'll find your purpose.
This is path one There's two paths path one I find my skill set and I engage it to help other people and become better at it so I'm becoming better at what I'm good at and I'm using it to help other people because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at and I know what more knowledge I have what skills I have I have some self-awareness the other path that people often miss is actually I just start serving people I just start helping people and I start to notice what I enjoy about that and what I'm good at helping people with so That's Gandhi's part.
Gandhi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others so for me Those are the two parts of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas? And the second one is Jay my relationships falling apart I get asked that all the time so the answer to that is much harder Okay, it's it's harder to summarize it, but I always start with self-actualization that the problem is we have a list for the one that we want and we Don't have a list for what we need to become and I don't mean become too tract I mean become to just be to just get to understand yourself You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are and so I find too many people rush into Relationships without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they need from a relationship So it all comes back to how aware are you how much understanding? Do you have of yourself and what you need and what you want? That's my best advice for relationship in like a minute And then the third question, I mostly get asked is Jay.
What do you read like? What are your favorite books because it seems you read a lot? What are your top three books? They're not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not be like oh my god That's the best book I've ever read for me.
They changed my life.
So that's where I'm coming at a point from I love Start with Why by simon Sinek and not because I applied it to businesses because I applied it to my life and even today, I'm constantly refining My Why That's all I do every day my deepest morning routine and practice is to refine why I do what I do It's so easy for me to now do it for money.
It's so easy for me to now do it for followers it's so easy for me to now do it for fame and Every day I have to refine that Because I know having lived as a monk and what I practiced that if those become what I want then I'll forget who I need to be so my daily practice and my daily routine is refining my intention which in modern language is Y So for me Simon's book helped me do that the Bhagavad Gita which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge what Ryan's done for stoicism and The Bhagwad Gita over 5000 years old and that book really Exemplifies human challenge third book I'd say this one's gonna.
Be hard cuz it's the last one Let me think I'm gonna try throw something else in there So I've done one like self-development one more spiritual enlightenment.
Let me throw a Business book in seeing as I'm sure you have a lot of business few years.
I love the book exponential organizations I don't know if you read it by Saleem Ishmael and the singularity University and that book for me is an incredible analysis of the success of all the Organizations we see ruling our phone today the way it breaks down their business models, and how they were created to me it's fascinating so if anyone really wants to start up a exponential business today And that's where they have to go and that's when Peter Diamandis said that if you want to be a billionaire Redefining it is someone who impacted the lives of a billion people and and that's what that business book is really about is How do you create an exponential organization that positively impacts a billion people so those are my three for today very good? Yeah, I've got one more.
Yes, I want to hear you.
Talk about your three E's Oh What are they why do they matter so? For me my three e's are element environment and energy Every one has an element that they thrive in if you take someone out of it their element They won't be the same modern-day example would be Michael Jordan He was incredible at basketball you took him out of basketball put him into baseball no one remembers his career We talk about one of the best athletes of all time Your environment is the environment around you you can take a fish out of water? And give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley and all the money in the world But it would die and that's what we are like our environment Everyone is an environment Which they thrive which we have to craft your? Boss if you're at work is never going to ask you what environment you succeed in right like that never happens So we have to create an environment where we thrive and then finally it's energy We some of us love high energy environments high pressure some of us succeed in low energy environments and low pressure Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you operate best will help you thrive as well so for me those are the three e's to really create a thriving environment know your element know your environment and know your energy and so on all times if I see anything going wrong, I'm going is my element out of alignment is my Environment out of alignment, or is my energy out of alignment? That's a great three question test you can do to yourself When you don't think things are going right and all you have to do is bring that back into alignment I love that all right before I ask my last question working these guys find you online Absolutely you can find me my favorite place for you to find me if we see the most of his Facebook I'm Jay Shetty on Instagram.
I'm Jay Shetty as well.
There's my two bases two best places YouTube as well Jay Shetty Twitter Jay Shetty so it's just yes, Jay Shetty on any platform that you're on I'm probably there awesome all right What's the impact that you want to have on the world? I think you've you've Said it so beautifully so many times and shared my vision which is wonderful and it's wonderful to know that we share the same thing It's making wisdom go viral.
There's an incredible study in 2017 that said the most successful people in the world healthy wealthy and wise Choose education over entertainment The impact I want to have from the world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment industry So that it becomes educational without anyone knowing so it's still completely entertaining It's still like watching Netflix But you're learning about human behavior the mind neuroscience and everything without even knowing you are to me That's the greatest win that we can have for our society.
How many people are going to quit watching Netflix I'm reading a book every night.
I don't know But if we can make that book come to life on Netflix That's going to change the world because that's what people are going to consume so for so long Media has been used to numb people to to switch people off if we can use it to excite elevate enlighten people not by just Not by like the cheesy way of like well Let's follow someone through their journey of enlightenment not like that kind of stuff I mean really entertaining programming Where you can learn by being entertained at the same time if I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world Then I will feel that I've had some some whatever an impact Because that way I think will reach the world without having to get around to change their habits too much My my thing is how do we meet people where they are and? And really deliver a message and a powerful expression of love and to me that's the highest form of compassion the highest form of empathy love and compassion is To meet people where they already are rather than expecting them to change and yeah That's the impact I'd like to happen the world so fingers crossed with your help with the help of everyone who's watching you know It's gonna be a team effort.
I can't do it on my own I'm not expecting to but yeah, that's the same factor like how in the world That's awesome man, Thank you, thank you your'e incredible.
Thank you Thank you all right Guys I'm telling you when you look at a tribe of people everybody has different roles, and there's always somebody whose job It is to go out to experience the world to bring back the wisdom in a form that has been Digested and made easy for other people to take away Jay Shetty is that man go watch this content it is somebody who has gone out into the world who's been a monk who's worked at Accenture and everywhere in between and come back with a real ability to explain What is going on and he does it from a position of not trying to seem smarter than you or better than you? But just that that's his role some people are musicians some people are the doctors and some people break down the information I really think he has unique access to the wisdom as he calls it to understand What people are trying to encapsulate in the books? Modern or ancient and his ability to articulate that in a way that feels like Modern rap spoken word whatever you want to think of it as it is in and of itself A an Artistic creation so you cannot go wrong Diving into it that it is not a mistake that he's had over a billion views in less than 12 months which is insanity So go check his stuff out hit him up asking questions keep an eye because I think he's gonna be one of the Great's at really Digesting that information and really helping wisdom go viral all right guys if you haven't already be sure to subscribe And until next time my friends be legendary take care Everybody thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community If you haven't already be sure to subscribe you're going to get weekly videos on building a growth mindset cultivating grit and unlocking your full potential.