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How To Survive 2020 | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

2 years ago
in Công nghệ
How To Survive 2020 | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

So before we take off for the holidays.

LIÊN QUAN

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.

.

I have to give you some updateson some of the stories we did this year.

Now back in August, I spoke to Canadianprime minister Justin Trudeau, and I tried to convert him to Islam.

You accept Islam as the one true faithand the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, the last and final messenger? Don't laugh at that part.

You can't laugh at that part.

I am proudly Catholic but I havea tremendous respect for all religions.

Little did I know, he had actually converted decades ago.

Assalamualaikum, Brother Jafar.

This is real.

This came out two weeks after our episodeaired.

It wasn't just brownface.

Trudeau also wore blackfacemultiple times, and still won re-election.

All he needs to do is go yellowfacein 2020 to score the racism hat trick.

I believe in him.

Now, our spring episode on student loansled me to testify before Congress.

And the Republicansreally wanted to grill me.

Mr.

Minhaj, do you know what cost of in-statetuition is currently at UC Davis? -Today it's $14, 490.

-Boom.

-Do you know.

.

.

-Do I get points for that? Bonus points.

Absolutely.

Do you knowwhat the out-of-state tuition is? -I don't know the out-of-state tuition.

-It's $44, 000.

I think it's relevant.

I don't think that's worth it, thoughif you're out of state.

I stand by that.

If you paid $44, 000 to go to UC Davis, that's why you didn't getinto UC Berkeley.

Look, I got a poli sci degree from Davis.

Half of my degree was copy-and-pastingWikipedia articles.

And the other half was gettingXXL credit card t-shirts.

Now, this year we covered censorship in China, which is still going strong.

In October, a journalist who helped with our episode was detained by the Chinese governmentafter she supported the Hong Kong protests.

That same month, the GM of the Rocketstweeted his support for Hong Kong, so Beijing has continued to black outall Rocket games in China.

And just this week, Arsenal midfielder Mesut Özil Instagrammedhis support for Chinese Uighurs.

And then China blocked the Arsenal game.

No one in the entire countrywatched the soccer match.

For two hours, China became.

.

.

America.

The other country that has madeserious authoritarian moves is India.

Since our last update, prime ministerModi has gone mask off on Muslims.

In August, he revoked the special status of the formerly autonomous, Muslim-majority state of Kashmir.

He moved in thousands of troopsand cut off the region's Internet access.

Most Kashmiris still don't have Internet.

Think of everything they've missed.

The Buttigieg dance, the Peloton ad, hot Kumail Nanjiani.

Modi does not want Kashmiristo see this ripped dude from Karachi.

But for Modi, messing withKashmiri Muslims was just the start.

He effectively stripped two million peopleof their citizenship, most of them Muslim.

And now, his party passed a law to fast-trackcitizenship for migrants, except Muslims.

Do you realize how crazy this is? Modi takes control of Kashmir, a place full of Muslims.

Then, when Muslim refugeestry to come in for safety, he just turns into a nightclub bouncer.

He's like, “Sorry fellas.

.

.

we hit our cap on Muslims.

” They're like, “Come on!”He's like, “Fellas.

.

.

-You got to buy a bottle to come in.

”-“You know we don't drink.

” “I know.

That's why those are the rules.

” And that's just a small samplingof what's happening in the world.

Ukraine, sea levels, the Lakers in first place.

.

.

It's awful.

And that's why as 2019 comes to an end, so many people feel like this: I mean, it's very.

.

.

I don't even know.

.

.

I mean, it's crazy.

I can't take it anymore.

I'll be honest.

There is a frustrationand anxiety out there.

It's just too much drama.

I want to just scream.

Make it stop.

I get tired of hearing about it.

I can't take it, I got to turn it off, man, it's just too much dark.

“It's too much dark, man!” It sounds like he's about to leave CNNfor My Chemical Romance.

But this is the problem.

.

.

we're exposed to all the newsall the time, which makes us feel likewe have to care about everything all the time.

Think about it.

You got to go to the climate march! It's climate change.

It.

.

.

It connects all of us.

But you got to think about the Rohingya.

No one's talking about Myanmar.

But let's take a momentto stand with Hong Kong.

The protests are still continuing.

And remember! Family separation isstill happening at the border.

And change your avatar blue for Sudan, but change it red for Kashmir.

But you can't forget to Free Palestine.

And you better not listen to R.

Kelly, but before you do that, stop eating meat.

Who cares about meatif we can't even ban assault rifles? And who cares about assault rifleswhen Stephen Miller's getting married? He could procreate! This is why we're all going crazy.

And a lot of people are talking aboutthis feeling.

Don't you feel this? Look, all these issues matter.

But we can't possibly care aboutall of them all the time.

There's even a word for it.

.

.

compassion fatigue.

It's like we have 50 tabs openin our mental browsers.

And we're about to crash, something's got to change.

You know who really figured out 2019? You're not gonna like this.

.

.

Mitch McConnell.

We've shat on Mitch McConnell all year: “He's a goblin.

”“He's a skin tag with glasses.

” “He looks like somethingfrom a wax museum dumpster.

” He doesn't give a fuck.

Mitch loves it, it makes him stronger.

He closed all tabs except for the Republican Partyand locking down the courts.

We got to focus like McConnell.

So this is what I'm pitching: for 2020.

.

.

give yourself a break.

Just pick a couple things.

.

.

to not care about, for your sanity.

I'm not saying shut down your browser.

Just close a couple tabs.

So here are three things I'm gonna letother people worry about in 2020, right? Plastic straws.

That's not on me, that's on somebody else.

All right? North Korea, I don't give.

.

.

I'm not thinking about it.

And brownface.

I know, that's supposed to be my issue, but I got other tabs to focus on.

So if someone comes up to me, and islike, “Did you hear? Joe Biden dressed upas Apu for Halloween.

” I'll be like, “Yo, I bet the accent was funny.

I bet you he nailed the accent!” And he's like.

.

.

“I bet you he killed it!Nailed it.

” You know what's not funny, though?Climate change.

It's 2020, we gotta focus.

Now, I know it's weird.

.

.

hearing this from the show that tells youto care about something new every week.

And we're not going to stop doing that, but I also understand if you got to take a breather.

That's why, after you're done with this episode, you have every rightto close a tab in your brain.

Especially if it helps you double downon the issues that really matter to you.

So over the holidays, sleep well.

.

.

but not that well.

I'll see you guys in 2020.

We got a few more tabs to open.

.

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