– Hey everybody, what's going on? Well, it's a weird time andwe're all stuck in our homes, so we actually are going todo some Dungeons and Dragons.
Ryan is here, Steven ishere, Katie LeBlanc is here.
Katie is our head of development.
How are you guys feeling? Have you played Dungeonsand Dragons before? – Long time listener, first time caller.
I've never done this before.
Know a bit about it fromfriends, but that's it.
– Yeah, I've played itonce with you before.
It was short lived becauseit was too big of a group and people were flaking out.
Maybe myself was one of thosepeople that was flaking, but you know what?- Maybe me too.
– I'm here now and I'mhere and I'm committed and I'm committed to social distancing and Dungeons and Dragons.
– And that's what this is.
(dramatic music) Before we get into the game, we are lucky enough to havea sponsor for this episode.
Obviously, we're making content from home, so that's wonderful.
Ryan, tell us more about them.
– Big thank you to Raid: Shadow Legends, which is an RPG video gamethat you can play mobily or on your desktop.
So basically, you're travelingwith a clan of people, they're called champions.
You start with your champion, you can upgrade his equipment, his armor, his abilities.
So right now, I'm traveling as a trio.
We just defeated one of the, I think, the castle guard, a boss.
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You will start off with 50000 silver and a free champion to start your journey and to join your friends inslaying monsters and such.
Thanks again to Raid: Shadow Legends for sponsoring this video andlet's get back to the game.
– All right, travelers, you find yourself in a packed house.
It's a tavern.
Candle light illuminates the room, there's a din of drunkardsall howling, having fun.
You stand by the wall, waiting for a table, when a friendly, beardedman approaches you three and says “Can I get you all a table? “Are you together?”- No.
– “Oh, you're not.
“Well, we're a little packed up right now.
“Would you mind sharing a table?” – Yeah, I think I could do that.
– Okay, yeah, of course, let's do it.
– “Excellent, I'll seat you over here “and you could get cozy.
” The man leads you over to a table.
Again, this place is just, it's popping, it's packed to the gills.
It's a little placedcalled The Yawning Portal, a wonderful tavern herein the city of Waterdeep.
You all settle in next to each other and as you're going to be sharing a drink or a meal together, maybe now's a good time to introduce yourselves.
– My names Steve.
(laughing) My name's Steve and yeah, I come from a little bit out of town, I kinda wander, but, justlooking for some nice folk to hangout, have a little brew with.
– You're going to nameyour character Steve? Is that the– – Yes, I'm going toname my character Steve.
– It's important to my back story.
(laughing) – Okay.
– So, I'd appreciate itif you laid off me a bit.
– It's Steve! – Sorry to interrupt.
– It's gonna stay as Steve.
– It's a great name, no bias.
I don't know any Steves inmy life, but, great name.
Good choice, Ryan, I mean, Steve, sorry.
– (laughing) Oh God, thisis gonna be a nightmare.
– This is gonna be insufferable, okay.
– My name is Qezza, I'm a half orc.
I'm trying to find my way.
I recently had to leave the town where I had lived my whole life, because I defied my adoptive father and defended a town thathe wanted to burn down and he burnt it down, but I defended people and I have no home now, so this is where I am.
– Was your father a king? – He was a military general, that's where I learned everything.
– Qezza, that's quiteremarkable to share with us on the very first time meeting us, but– – Look, I'm new to this, all right? (laughing) – It's quite forward of you to speak ill of your father like that.
– Oh God.
– Well, he's a dick and hedeserves to be called a dick.
– This tavern is horrible.
(laughing) – Let me speak to the table for a moment.
My name is Stephanos, Stephanos Coffeebean.
I am a lad from the far, far away and that's where this accent comes from.
This accent is actuallyquite difficult to keep up, so sometimes I cut backto my other accent, so forgive me if I amconstantly back and forth between my accents.
I am a halfling afterall, so I'm half human.
– I like the accent.
Yeah, I think it's kinda sexy, actually, not that, you know? No, I don't wanna make youfeel weird or anything, but it's nice, it'slike butter to my ears.
– I appreciate thekindness, Steve, but anyway, since we're talking about ourselves, let me share a little bit about myself.
I am the seventh of 13 children and my family's all passed away, but I don't want to speak of it now.
It's okay, I just— Jesus.
– Just wanted to share.
Yeah, wow, feels good toget that off my chest.
I've not told anybody that information, but something about thistavern really makes me feel like I know you all, like you're my friends, like I love you all.
– All right, too much.
– And Qezza, all right, too much.
Well, thank you for listening to me.
I'm going to take it backa step now, a step back.
– The bearded man comesback to your table.
“Hey folks, I'm sorry about that.
“Here's your menus.
“Take a minute, do youneed a couple minutes? “I can come back, got a lot of tables.
” – I just need an ale, just an ale, that's fine.
– “Just an ale.
“I hope you got some dragons on ya.
” – Dragons?- Got some dragons on us, what are you talking about? – Yes, are you not familiarwith the local currency? The coins in this town arecalled dragons, my friends.
I mean (laughing).
– Yeah, of course I knew that.
– Okay, I was gonna say, you show up in Waterdeep, you don't have any money.
This city, it's an expensive town, rent's going up, you know how it goes.
– Well I just go wherethe performances take me, so, you know, I reallydon't ever really know where I'm at, so I sometimesforget about the currency.
Apologies, good sir.
– “Oh no, no worries.
“So that's one ale.
“Anything for the little folks here?” – Do you possibly some magic juice? – Magic juice?- “Some magic juice?” – Magic juice, you know, it's– (laughing) Juicy magic.
– “I mean, look at the menu.
“We have water and ale and wine, “maybe some mead, if you'd like that.
“It can be magic if you have a lot of it, “you know what I mean.
– “Maybe you'll end up somewhere “where you didn't plan on ending up.
” – Stephanos, where didyou say you were from? – I'm from a town far, far away.
Sorry, I'm not familiar with the currency, the dragon, you say.
I think I brought someother currency with me.
It's from my hometown, so youcan you swap me, actually? – Yeah, just get him awine, I'll pay for it.
– “Yeah, okay, okay, a little wine “and then for the littlefella over there?” – Yeah, I thought you'd never get to me.
Yeah, let's see, get me another, I'll go another stein of ghoul grog and give me an extrashot of goblin split too.
– “Okay, well I don't knowif that's on the menu, “but I'll check.
” – What kind of tavern is this? – “Yeah, okay, all right, well, it's the Yawning Portal, “it's the hottest tavern in Waterdeep.
” – Well how's it gonnabe the hottest tavern if you have no goblin split? – He leaves you to your own devices again.
Feel free to converse some more.
We'll see what happens.
– You know what? Yeah, I'm kinda getting tiredof doing that other accent because it's just a character I'm doing.
(laughing) You know? Here's the thing, fellas.
I was gonna, kind of, slowly reveal myself to you as the night goes on.
I'm an actor and, yeah, that's what I do for a trade.
I also sing, I got alittle guitar back there.
It felt a littledisingenuous to kinda put on this little accent for ya.
It fits my size a little bit more, but I got tired of doing it, to be honest.
(laughing) So I'm gonna be myselfnow, you can trust me now, don't worry about it, but Iam telling the truth in that I travel town to town to town.
You get it, right? I was just jerking yourchain a little bit.
– How do I know this isn'tanother one of your acting? – I just wanted to see how far I could take that othercharacter, you know? That's just a part of the trade.
I could play a little song for you, if it would ease your mind? Of course, I'd have tocharge ya, but, you know.
– I'm sorry, what was youreal name, you were saying? – Oh, my real name is Steve, but sometimes I kinda like to jump from persona to persona.
It's just a thing that I do.
You know, I live for the performance.
– I'd love to hear a song, Steve.
– Well, you know what? We're gonna have to go a littlebit further on the journey.
I don't really know you.
I don't really hand out songs willy-nilly.
– You just offered, youjust offered a song! If I paid for it, you offered it.
– Yeah, but I also said howyou'd have to earn my trust a little bit, ya big girl.
I don't even know what to call you.
What was your name, Tessa? – Qezza, her name is Qezza.
– I'm going to grab your skull and throw you across the room.
– So why don't I singa song for all of you? – No, I'd rather nothear that ever, actually.
– Steve, you be quiet, you let Stephanos sing.
– Okay, I won't, I won't, I won't sing for you, I won't sing a song, I'm sorry.
– Thank God.
– Suddenly all of the noisein the tavern is eclipsed by a shout.
“Ya pig, like killing me mates, does ya?” Then a seven foot tallhalf orc is hit by a wild swinging punch from a male human, who's shaved head is coveredwith eye shaped tattoos.
Four other humans stand behind him, ready to jump into the fray.
The half orc cracks her knuckles, roars and leaps at the tattooed figured, but before you can see if blood is drawn, a crowd of spectatorsclusters around the brawl.
What do you do? – Well, it's a half orc woman in a fight and that piques my sense of kinship, so I need to go check it out.
I need to go see what's going on.
– That sounds quiteright, yes, you should go.
– That sounds like a good plan to me.
– You guys stay here.
– I'll stay back here and watch the table.
– Try not to be seen, you guys stay outta here.
– But we're in this together now.
Fate has brought us together, we will leave this tavern together.
– That's a lot of faith right now, so why don't you guysjust stay out of sight and I'm gonna go check this out.
– Qezza, you walk overto the brawl occurring and through the crowdsof people you can see that there's clearlyfive humans ganging up on this one half orc, who, you know, all due respect to the halforc, is really pulling her own.
She has what looks to bethe leader of the humans pinned down and is raining blows upon him, but it looks like theother four humans are pretty much ready to pounce on her, so do you choose to engage? What's going on here? – She seems unfairly outnumbered.
I wanna engage and pullher out of the fight.
– Okay, well one of the humansspies you from the corner, sees that you're about to jump in on this.
He recognizes that youwere sitting at this table with these two little fellas.
– I told them to stay out of sight! – Well, he spots them.
He's seen the crew you'rerollin' deep with and he said “Oh, you are your friendswant some too, huh?” – Here's the thing, I feltlike I needed to tap dance on this table.
It looked like it wouldbe good for my shoes.
– Well Steve, I don'tblame you for being you.
You do you, Steve.
– God dammit, Steve.
– You do you.
– God dammit.
– That was wonderful, what afriendship is growing here.
– You're really starting to piss me off.
– Everybody, roll for initiative! – Okay, I rolled a 12 plus one.
I have 13 initiative.
– I rolled a 17, so Ihave plus two and I'm 19.
– I have a 10.
I have an eight plus a two, so a 10.
One of the humans takes his scimitar and makes a slashing attack at Qezza, as she was the first to enter the fray.
It's a miss.
– Yeah, it better be.
– He trips over his ownshoelaces and stumbles past you.
Next up is Stephanos.
– You know what? I take my crossbow and Ipeer from around the corner.
I point it straight at the man who just stumbled past the half orc.
– With my one eye winkedand the other eye open, went past Steve and Ipull back and I release.
– Yeah, hell yeah, Stephanos!- I release the bow.
– Hell yeah, Stephanos!- Okay.
– Get it!- Roll your d20 there.
– I didn't know you had it in you.
– Rolling my d20 and Ihave rolled an, uh-oh, I roll an eight.
I receive a 12.
– Correct, that's a hit.
Your crossbow hits himsquare in the shoulder.
– Hell yeah, get it, Stephanos! – Steve, look at that! Look, Steve, you see me? Steve!- Roll for damage.
– And I roll a four, plus two and I hit six.
– You hit six.
The bolt from thecrossbow actually hits him clear in the throat.
– Yeah, yeah!- Oh shit.
– Stephanos, get it!- A curdling of blood spatters from his new woundand he drops to the floor, so he's out, he's down for the count.
– He's kaput.
– Next up, one of the otherangry, angry humans sees this and well, he makes aswing with his scimitar directly for Stephanos, as a vengeance.
He's screaming, he's not thrilledthat you killed his friend and that is, unfortunately, his scimitar does hit you and it's gonna cause five damage.
It hits you square in the shin.
You're not pleased.
– My man, I'm sorry.
– No worries, mate.
(laughing) – I didn't mean to getyou hurt in all this, I was just trying to defend my friend.
– He is laughing, he's laughing at the damage he caused.
(laughing) Oh, he's pleased with himself.
– Oh, screw this guy.
– Next up, his friend, who's standing next to him, he's seeing his friendwith a little victory here and he's gonna go after the big gal, so he swings his scimitar, he misses, so he took a swing for Qezzaand he did not land it.
Qezza, you're up next.
– Wait, when the helldo I get to go, here? – This is how initiativeworks, you don't get to go yet.
– Steve, you rolled a very low number, just take a chill pill andjust watch me writhing in pain.
– Steve, your tap dancingis what got Stephanos hit in the shin.
– You know, why don't you focus on thatwound, 'cause you're bleeding.
– Why don't you come and help me, sir? (laughing) – Steve, just hang back.
Okay, I take my great swordand go right after that guy who just swung for me.
I go right for his head.
20, I got 20.
– You cut him in half.
– Oh, Jesus.
– Everyone in the bar, beforethis, was, sort of, cheering and really into this funbrawl that was going on.
Now people are passing out, they're pale, they're disgusted.
Some people have flecksof blood on their face.
– Oh no.
– A truly horrifying situationis occurring right now.
– I'm sorry.
– It's quite the disaster.
– I didn't mean for this to happen.
– Nice shot.
(laughing) – Seeing this, the othertwo remaining humans make a run for it, butthere's still one human trapped under this half orc woman, as she is beating the pulp out of him.
You can choose to pullher off, or help her.
You know, clearly thishuman is outnumbered, so now it's your choice ifyou wanna be lenient with him, or just straight up finish him off.
– No, pull her off, pull her off.
– Okay, to pull her off, youhave to do a strength check, because this is a pretty strong lady.
– Okay, you are successful in pulling off this orc.
She's very fired up.
She's like “What are you doing?” And the man with theeyeballs all over his head, he manages to, while you'retrying to contain this fired up half orc, he managesto run out of the tavern, so you have successfullybroken up this crazy brawl.
– Oh no, I thought we weregoing to catch the man and learn more informationabout this gang of bandits, but at least we're all safe together.
– I'm just pleased tohave settled things down and I'm hoping thatcutting a man in a half won't be taken too negatively, considering that he attacked me first and they were clearly bandits, but now, can I ask her what was going on? – Yes, absolutely.
– Okay, I wanna talk to her.
– Yeah, she's not thrilledthat you intervened.
You can introduce yourself to her now.
– Okay, what were you doing? You just caused a huge, what was going on? – “What was I doing? “What were you doing? “I was trying to cleanup the scum of the city, “that's what I was doing.
” – Yeah, but folk like usalready have a bad reputation.
You can't go startingstuff like this in taverns.
You have to control yourself.
– “Starting stuff in taverns? “Did you see that guy? “He had eyeballs all over his head.
“Does that seem likea guy you wanna know?” – No, but why were you knowing him? Why did you have anything to do with him? – To be fair, I kinda wannaknow him, pretty cool tattoos.
– “Oh, is that all it takes for you, “just some cool tattoos? “Well I'll tell you what, that guy, he's Xanathar scum.
” – Yeah, that's a name thatdoesn't ring any bells, but cool tattoos, yeah, I agree.
– “Are you new around here? “Do you not understand howthings work in this city?” – Not really, I kinda travelwhere the gigs go, you know? But I will say I dolike dinner and a show.
– “Well I guess you've gottenyour show, that's for sure.
” – Indeed, no dinner though.
– She's looking pretty bored.
(laughing) She lives for the fight, clearly and you took away herentertainment for the day.
Any last words that you'dlike to exchange with her? – Is there any moreinformation to be gained about who that guy was, whyhe was worth beating up, or is she just looking for fights? – Roll a charisma check.
– Charisma plus two, six.
– Yeah, she doesn't seem likeshe's all that interested in filling you in on this.
She says “Look, if you don'tknow your way around this city, “that's not my problem.
“Why don't you spend a little time here? “Get to know how this place works.
“Meanwhile, I'm gonna go treat myself “to a drink at the bar, thanks.
” She walks off.
– Well, this lady can screw.
I remember that Stephanosis bleeding from the shins and we need to address that.
– Yes, you know, I think I'm okay, I'll be okay, but could use a mighty fine number of band aids for my legs.
– It looks like he got a booboo.
(laughing) – There's a little bit of blood that's dropped onto yourforehead there, Steve.
– What? Oh yeah, I guess so, gross! Where's that barkeep? Fetch me a towel.
– Ooh, alcohol.
– “What's going on? “What are you guys doing over here? “That's vile.
“What the hell happened? “Another day in TheYawning Portal, I guess.
“It's how things go around here.
” – Yeah, you got a lot ofpeople getting cut in half in your establishment? – “Here and there.
“Do we have a mop over here? “Can we get that mopped? “Thank you.
” – You're just gonna mopaway the half the corpse? – Kind sir, would alsohappen to have any wraps or band aids, or anything thatcould help me to function.
– What the hell's a band aid? – “Got something back there.
“I'm not sure what band aid is.
“Is that like a drummer, or a–” – I got some drums, if you want those.
– “Now there's a band aid, I tell you.
“Yeah, we'll get some wraps for you, “we'll send them over to the table.
“Sorry about the interruption folks, “we'll have your drinksout in just a minute.
” He leaves you to the table again.
– I would love to do aperception check, at this point.
Oh no, oh no, I've rolled a two.
– I'll tell you, you know, your roll of two perception, you can just take a glance around, you're not gonna gain toomuch insight about this room, but what you can tell of this tavern, it's a wide open space, there's many floors to it and in the center of all of this is a 40 foot hole, basically, that appears to go down into the ground.
There's a pulley that peopleare being lowered into it on, but otherwise, most peopledon't seem to be paying too much mind to this giant hole and are just drinking their drinks.
– Yeah, I think I'd like todo a perception check too.
– You sure? – I wanna see what's in that hole.
– Steve, you don't trust my perception? What was that all about?- No.
– Actually, if one of youis skilled in history, you might be able to.
– Yeah, all right, let's do the history.
Looks like I got 13 plus one is 14.
– That's what I'm talking about! (laughing) – Stephanos, sorry, Steve, oh God, all right.
It's not even that hardto remember, it's Steve.
– Steve, you're searching your memory now and you seem to recallreading about this tavern back in the day.
You recall that The YawningPortal sits above an entrance to Undermountain, which isthis, sort of, a dungeon beneath the city of Waterdeep.
– So a portal? – In a sense, yes, itis a portal of sorts.
You recall that, yes, this is, sort of, a place where adventurerstend to descend into the pits of a pretty scary place, quite frankly and that's what you remember.
– Well, I am eager tofind out more about that and find out if the man Ikilled actually deserved it.
– Well, apparently there'ssome kind of organization here in the city, that's maybe up to no good, so yeah, we need to just go down thishole and see what's going on.
I know, maybe we— I will say, let me just reveal whyI am here, actually.
I never told you this, but I was in my town and the church actually sentme on a mission, in saying “You will enter some sort of dark world “and you'll be needed in thisspace, to help your friends, ” and I think that it's mycalling to be with you and to go into this dark space together.
I just wanted to let you know that.
– What is it, like a fortunecookie, or something? – The great lord of this earthhad actually told me this.
– Oh, I see.
– Are you certain? I feel like this may besomething I should do and you guys should stayup here, where it's safer.
It doesn't feel like this is– – Listen Qezza, I don'tknow what you're saying, but I think you're gonnaneed a little bit of help.
I have been equipped withsome magic, some spells, some curing, I can pray, I can do many things and at the very least, yousaved my life, let me help you.
– I'll say this about the hole.
As you can see it, it is notso much a hole, as a, you know, it's 40 feet wide and you reallycan't see the bottom of it, so it's not quite somethingthat one of you would go down in on your own.
It would be a big journey, I'll say that.
– Right, right.
I don't see the benefitin them joining me, but Stephanos has made a good point, I see his value, I wouldlike to have you along.
Steve, what do you standto gain down there? – Eh, I don't really know.
I'm kinda curious and bored, to be honest.
I just checked my Googlecal, looks like I got nothing coming up the next week, soyeah, I'll go in the hole if you'll have me, have a little fun.
I'm down for a little adventure.
– Steve, he's quite comedicrelief for the group and he's made me laugha few times, I will say.
He's a very funny man.
I think he's very, very funny.
– I wish I could say the same for you.
I will say that I know somespells and whatnot, so yeah, maybe you could use medown that hole, I dunno.
– What do you know how to spell? Do you know how to spell you name? – It's very good, that's agood joke, very, very funny.
I'm doubled over with laughterright now, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, I meant it's magic, dummy! Yeah, I know some spellsthat might be helpful and you know, also Ihave several instruments that I could play, too.
If you guys wanna hear a little tune, or need a little mood music, if you're choppingpeople in half and stuff, you might want a little soundtrack to kick some ass to, you know? – Yeah, all right.
– Love it, love it very much, love it with all my heart andall my soul, love it, Steve.
Let's do this, let's do this, team! We got this, you're our new family now! – All right.
– I give us three days.
– Thank you for being my family.
– All right, in my enthusiasmto figure this out, I pick them both upand start to carry them towards the hole.
– I've always wanted apiggyback ride from a giant.
– All right, you approach thehole and as I said earlier, there appears to be somesort of pulley system where people are going down.
Durnan, who is theproprietor of this place, the bearded man who seatedyou and is serving you, he walks over to you andstops you in your tracks and he says “Whoa there folks.
“Where do you think you're going?” – I'm going into the hole.
– Did you not see theencounter I just had? I need to track down those bandits and find out their originand I need to know more.
– “Yes, I did see youfight those humans, yes, “and you think you're readyto go down in the hole.
” – Yes.
– “And you're gonna take thesetwo little fellas with ya?” – Yes, I'm gonna take thelittle fellas with me.
– Excuse me, let me chimein for just a moment.
Little fellas, I don't like the way that you're referring to myself.
I'm not a little fella, I'm just a halfling.
– “Well, now, how tall areyou exactly, little boy?” – Quite tall for my species, actually.
I'm a three foot six halfling.
– “Oh boy, I was gonna say Icould fit you in my pocket.
” – Can I intimidate this man? He's starting to piss me offtalking mean about my friends.
– Yes, roll for intimidation.
– I got a 16.
– So he is clearly intimidated.
He says “Whoa, whoa, okay, look, look, “you don't have to get all angry with me.
“You have to understand, I run a business here.
“I've got people, and sure, someone got cut in half just now “and I don't feel great about that.
“It's not good for the PR, but–” – Yeah and having a big asshole in your restaurant is? – “Now, now, now, that's just a feature, “but I'm gonna put this big asspadlock on this pulley wheel “to make sure that youfolks can't get down there “and that's somethingthat I do because I care “and that's the thing hereat The Yawning Portal, “we care–” Suddenly, Durnan is interrupted.
Shouts of alarm suddenly ring out, as a hulking creatureclimbs out of the shaft in the middle of the tap room, a monster with warty, green skin, a tangled nest of wiry black hair, a long, carrot shapednose and bloodshot eyes, as it bares it's yellow teeth and howls.
You can see that thehalf-dozen bat like creatures are attached to it's body, with three more circlingabove it, like flies.
Everyone in the tavern reacts in fear, except for the barkeep, Durnan, who shouts “Troll!” And that'll be our cliffhanger for this week.
– Aw, man! – Wait, so we are notrolling for initiative? – We're not rolling for initiative, I dunno if we even needto include that or not.
– That was pretty good, Iwanna see what that monster is.
– Yeah, I'm all about seeingwhat that monster is now, man.
– Also, this old guy sucks.
– Durnan?- Durnan sucks.
– He's a sweet guy.
Look, he's just, you know, he's running a business, man.
– He has a big ass hole in his restaurant that's filled with trolls in it.
– Why would he build a tavern over a hole where trolls come out of? – Well, I mean, why is the sky blue? – Those aren't the same, those aren't the same thing.
– The hole was alwaysthere, or the hole appeared? – I don't have to answer for these things, also, we're not in the game anymore, the session has concluded.
I guess you'll have tofind out more next time.
– That's a good teaser, Shane, well done.
– Well, thanks for joiningus for our very first session of Social Distancing andDungeons and Dragons.
We're all working throughthis, so if we've done anything horribly incorrectly thisweek, please let me know, as the DM.
Tune in next week to find out what happens with that big old trolland we'll see you then.