The right way to play Monopoly

OK, so when do you play Monopoly? I have not played Monopoly since I was, like, ten.

So… Now I play it when I’m at my parents’house, if there’s a big family gathering.

I don’t ever play Monopoly.

Basically, you played Monopoly when you werea kid or when you were stuck inside.

So, I talked to somebody who played Monopolyin a ballroom in the Venetian hotel in Macau.

I’m Brian Valentine.

I was the United States representative tothe Monopoly World Championships in 2015, where I finished third amongst the 28 competitors.

He taught me all the right ways to play Monopoly— and even make the game a little shorter.

All the rules, odds, and strategies that canactually help you win.

This is a Monopoly board from.

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Target.

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but I took it with me to Macauand asked all the players to sign it for me.

Just as a keepsake.

I’m almost getting into sports cliches talkingabout Monopoly, but tt was very humbling to have made it that far against players whoare the best in their country and who are fantastic people.

And this Monopoly genius, he knows heatmapsand housing arbitrage and strategy — but he just wants you to follow the rules.

OK, what happens on free parking? Do you, like, collect money from people? There’s no money under free parking, I guessthat’s the biggest.

You don’t put money under free parking, people see as a chance to equalize the game that’s stacked against them.

If you keep putting money in the game, itstops the progress.

People don’t play the game by the rules.

If they did, it wouldn’t take quite so long.

Do you auction stuff off? No.

I remember reading it on the back of the card, but I don’t remember — I remember that always feeling a little over my head in termsof play.

If you land on it and don’t want it, it’sgot to go up for auction on the spot.

Somebody can buy it.

You can start the bidding at a dollar.

I’ve seen it happen, and I’ve seen someonetake Boardwalk for 20 bucks.

Once you have the rules in order, you’vegotta go with the strategy.

What’s the best spot in Monopoly? Oh, I’m sure it’s like Boardwalk.

It’s funny because that’s the glamour, that’s the trademark of Monopoly, it’s Boardwalk – you gotta get it.

The object of the game is to take everyone’smoney and be the only person left in the game.

While Boardwalk certainly offers the prospectof that — $2000 when you get a hotel on it — think about what it costs to get there.

You’ve got to buy each of the two properties.

Then it’s 200 dollars, per house per property, until you get to that level.

So that’s another thousand dollars on eachone to then get $2000 back.

And there are only two of them, right? Most of the other Monopolies have three spacesthat you can hit and then draw rent.

If you are building up Boardwalk and ParkPlace before anybody else has built Monopolies up against you, hell yeah, go for it.

But if you’re in a situation where otherfolks have Monopolies on that hot side of the board, and you’re waiting to throw thehaymaker, if you will, on Boardwalk and Park Place, that’s a loser more than it’s awinner.

You can go on any website and learn the basicparlor trick that the oranges are the best Monopoly to have.

Are you gonna now show a chart of the Monopolyboard with a heat map? I’m sad to say that I will.

I knew that existed.

The reason that that is so is because jailis one of the most often landed on spaces in the game.

The fact that the common role is 7, then 7from jail — while not an actual property, it’s Community Chest — 6 and 8, the nextmost likely numbers, are St.

James and Tennessee Avenue.

So you know that the oranges are likely toget hit on.

And also, by extension, the section betweenjail and go to jail that side’s the side you want to be building on.

It’s feast or famine on the other side ofthe board.

So there’s a couple more strategies thatare on the practical, not so mathy end.

If you get to jail early, go ahead pay up, get out of there.

You can also use your houses as weapons tocontrol the game.

You have 32 houses in the game.

You’ve got to build houses before you canbuild hotels.

The houses have to be physically present tobe bought, which is why, in a lot of circles you’ll hear people say about creating ahousing shortage.

You want to get to the four house level soyou can pull the trigger and get hotels if you need to, or you can sit on the four housesand keep other people from having them.

OK, so final question.

So when I say what is the right way to playMonopoly, how do you respond? The right way to play Monopoly is just.

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don’tplay it.

Don’t steal from the bank.

And that goes out to my cousins when we playedwhen we were ten.

I would say, is it just like, to win? How to win? With honor.

It’s almost, sometimes, you feel like youhave this Renaissance era sense of honor and dignity.

Not that we’re going around slapping eachother with gloves having duels or anything like that.

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that’s the thing that keeps comingto me is honor.

Playing Monopoly allows you to get to knowpeople in a way that formal introductions or being coworkers, or whatever, doesn’tquite show.

Because in an hour and half, two hour game, you’re gonna see how people handle adversity, you’re gonna see how people handle success, you’re gonna see, bundled in this short format, that allows you to see who a personis.

Ahhh.

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shhh….

it’s Monopoly, we’re talkingabout Monopoly.

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